Jake Butler (Jayk) @jaykbutlr_old

follow @jaykbutlr Joined December 2012

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

Honestly can't handle this rn. Can't believe donal trup banned vibes

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

Cop pulled me over and gave me a breathalyzer. Turns out I was 0.7 over the legal vibe limit😞 Wait babe don't hang up this is my only phone call

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

Yo my girl just ran up to me and said I have the cheese touch. But we've never even had sex so idk who tf she gave the cheese touch to but they need to square up so I can beat their ass

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

I'd like to say happy boyfriend's day to my wife's boyfriend, tom. He let me have extra dino nuggets on my birthday. Shouts to you tom

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

More like W.B. The Boys

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

Yo I just contracted the cheese touch aha🙈 and it's terminal😔

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

Listen guys, the only thing worse than being a high school junior wearing men's size 13 Nike's, is being a high school junior wearing men's size 13 Chunky Filas

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

Do u think if I send her my chubby bunny challenge she'll text me back?

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

So you're telling me a veggie made this tale?

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

Listen, you're the I in Pixar, and I'm the lamp. Need I say more?

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

It's been 19 years today. Did you remember the Titans today?

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

*obligatory "must speak to the manager" joke* *everybody laughs at how funny I am* *I win the first Pulitzer for a tweet*

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

Which is hardest for you to say: 1. "I was wrong" 2. "You are important to me" 3. "I need help" 4. "Horror" but in a way that doesn't sound like "whore" 5. "I love you"

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On the next Netflix teen rom com: "My name's Michelle. I'm a normal girl, just like you. Except for one thing: I have no knee caps. Everybody at school thinks I'm a freak and nobody will date me! Until, a new boy arrives at our school. He's so hot AND he also has no kneecaps!😱"

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

Honestly me and my Area 51 alien now that it's fall

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

If you dating a philosopher, u single to me. Tf Jean-Paul Sartre gonna do? Be?

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

cultural impact: █ 　　 █　 █　 █　＿ Hurricane Tortilla Hurricane Katrina

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

The year is 2053. The US has been under Marshall law ever since the raid on Area 51 freed all the aliens and they took over our government. But our government's been run by aliens already since like the 90s so it's honestly not that different

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jbut @puppetjake

6 years ago

🎵Do you remember🎶 🎶The 20th night of September?🎵 When over 2 million people were massacred in the Great Raid on Area 51. I remember the day like it was yesterday. Those men and women bravely fought but alas, to no avail.