1001 Dad Jokes @1001dadjokes
The good, the dad, and the fugly. From groans to trombones we've created, collected, and curated the best dad jokes. See More!: https://t.co/WNfQ0t9eYD 1001dadjokes.com Joined August 2019-
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To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office... • • • • • I will find you. You have my Word. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself... • • • • • This takes me back. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
You want to know the way to my heart? • • • • • A scalpel and a bone saw. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #heartsurgery #or #er #hospital amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the internet. • • • • • Then my browser froze. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #icecream #microsoftedge #netscape amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, • • • • • you need to let that #mango. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #tropics amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
What type of music do wind #turbines enjoy? • • • • • They're huge #metal fans. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
Did you hear the news about the shovel? It's ground breaking. But the broom? • • • • • That really swept the #nation. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #groundbreaking #shovel amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter." • • • • • Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps." #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #kids #fairtrade amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
If your #parachute doesn't deploy... • • • • • You have the rest of your life to fix it. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
I asked my wife if she'd like to celebrate our anniversary in the south of #France. • • • • • She said sure, we have nothing #Toulouse. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #anniversary amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
According to a recent study, nine out of ten people who are afraid of hurdles • • • • • never get over it. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #hurdles #mightaswelljump #justdoit amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
Did you hear about the actor that literally broke a leg on stage? • • • • • Don't worry; he's still in the cast. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #theshowmustgoon #stagefright #breakaleg amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
I was offered a job as an undertaker but I turned it down. • • • • • I couldn't dig it. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #undertaker #dyingbusiness #canyoudigit amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
Guys, this is so sad. • • • • • The water boiled. It shall be mist. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #water #mist #evaporation amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
What did the scarf say to the hat? • • • • • You go on ahead; I'm going to hang a bit longer. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #quotes #scarf #lids #hijab #durag amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
I saw a friend of mine sweep a girl off her feet... • • • • • He's quite an aggressive janitor. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #quotes #sweptaway #janitor #sanitation #headoverheels amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous… • • • • • I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am disappointed. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #quotes #niptuck #plasticsurgery #botox amzn.com/B088B6DQ4R
Random Jokes @RandomJokesIO
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101 Followers 151 Following Stay-Home-Dad. Ex Businessman. Writer. Bball Coach. Home Chef. Bad Jokes Enthusiast. I'm not ranting; this is how I normally sound. #Bitcoin
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114K Followers 31K Following Pre-Musk @verified | Scholar @HumanitiesNY | Author of 'License to Quill' & 'The Great Abraham Lincoln Pocket Watch Conspiracy' | #ObamaAlumniA Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: • • • • • Make me one with everything. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #buddhism #monk #hotdog #transcend #transcendence amzn.to/3cIsPLg
Did you know they #banned round #hay bales? • • • • • The horses weren't getting a square meal. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #quotes #hayisforhorses #downonthefarm amzn.to/3cIsPLg
I'm reading a book about zero gravity chambers. • • • • • I can't put it down. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes amzn.to/3cIsPLg
Tell me one thing wrong with overstocking grocery shelves. • • • • • Go on. Aisle weight. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #groceries #essentialworkers #grocerystore #economiccollapse amzn.to/3cIsPLg
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the internet. • • • • • Then my browser froze. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #icecream #microsoftedge #netscape amzn.to/2AhnXi9
You want to know the way to my heart? • • • • • A scalpel and a bone saw. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #heartsurgery #or #er #hospital amzn.to/2AhnXi9
My wife and I are planning a trip to San Francisco to see the Golden Gate and she asked what I'd like to do when we see it... • • • • • I suggested we cross that bridge when we get there. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #quotes #goldengate #sanfrancisco #bridges
@smarketingminds @DadJokeMan @GregHeav5 @101dadjokes @DnD_DadJokes @mcgee_dadjokes @1001dadjokes @dadjokesnoreos @asibiza1 @Martin1Williams I probably stole this from @DadJokeMan last year ..:
Tell me one thing wrong with overstocking grocery shelves. • • • • • Go on. Aisle weight. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #groceries #essentialworkers #grocerystore #economiccollapse
Someone stole my mood ring. • • • • • I'm not sure how I feel about it. #1001dadjokes #jokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #quotes #mood #moody #ring #lordoftherings
@thegoodgodabove I don’t need to have fun to have alcohol.
Thanks to coronavirus, what are some things you've learned we don't need anymore?
Let's have a Wednesday #Writers following spree once again! Leave a comment, like, retweet and follow everyone you can! #amwriting #WritingCommunity #Writer #Writerlift #writingcommmunity
We couldn't agree more! Check out our first installment on AZ... Thanks for your support! amzn.to/2UGGCvz😊
Big #thanks to everyone for your support! We've been busy and need a good laugh... If you like our #jokes, you'll LOVE more! Check out our free book with lots more to come! amzn.to/2UGGCvz #1001dadjokes #dadjokes #humor #humour #gottalaugh #keepmyselfsaneby
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