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2existential @2existential

Shower philosophy Joined September 2014
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2existential Profile Picture

2existential @2existential

11 years ago

Secretly knowing a language that a group of people speak but they think you don't, is almost like having the power to read minds

2existential Profile Picture

2existential @2existential

11 years ago

What if Dj Vu is just us starting off at our last checkpoint because we fucked up sometime in the future

2existential Profile Picture

2existential @2existential

11 years ago

I used to be a man in a woman's body.

2existential Profile Picture

2existential @2existential

11 years ago

There should be a fake dating service that gives you a review of what you did wrong afterwards.

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

It only takes 3 people to span the entire history of the United States.

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

Relationships are scary because you're either going to spend the rest of your life together, or have your hearts broken.

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

Some rappers basically have us pay them to tell us what extravagant/lavish things they then do with our money

2existential Profile Picture

2existential @2existential

11 years ago

How hilarious would it be if farting was as contagious as yawning

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

There are a certain number of people that are the same age as you. That number can get smaller but it can never get bigger.

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

"You nailed it" means the opposite of "you screwed up."

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

When parents get a divorce, they should have to switch houses every week so the kids don't have to.

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

"Don't kid yourself" would be an appropriate slogan to promote safe sex

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

Considering how big the universe is, there are probably space battles going on somewhere right now.

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

So many people are named Smith because blacksmiths made weapons instead of fighting and dying in wars

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

Mowing the lawn is basically just shaving the Earth's face.

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

The reason we care so much about approval from strangers on the Internet is because they have no social obligation to lie to us.

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

"Making Ends Meet" would be a fantastic slogan for a double ended dildo company.

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

Santa Claus probably regrets giving coal to naughty kids now that global warming is threatening his habitat.

2existential Profile Picture

2existential @2existential

11 years ago

Half of 8 is 4. Half of 8 is also 3. Half of 8 can also be 0

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2existential @2existential

11 years ago

Future me is watching over me through their memories.

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