Bimmy the boi @BJobangles

Fun drinking game idea. Take a shot every-time you lose your vape.

What’s a normal amount of times to hard blink to etch a sketch your brain? Asking for a friend

People who drive lowered cars in Michigan do not fear death

You have a career and a 401k, I lose my vape in my lap every 3 minutes we are not the same.

If your depression meal is your favorite food I have some news for you buddy.

I GOT IT BACK BOOOOIIIII

The only thing stopping me from disappearing tonight is that I dont have a car.

Kinda wish my friends and family were dead so I didnt have anyone to disappoint. Kinda wish being dead wouldnt cause grief. But look at me go raw doggin the fuck outta life.

Anyone else have to violently fight the urge to tap dance on the dinner table? Just send mashed potatoes and soup flying?

I like you can call a cat a fuck face and no one beats an eye but if you call a baby a bastard you're a piece of shit... sorry mommy and daddy werent married, I'm just spitting facts ya lil bastard.

I hope my twitter gets found years after I forget about it so my kid can show me a screenshot on facebook and I can be like:

You ever talk to your anxiety like a little brother? Like bro what the fuck do you want NOW.

Everyone talks about their peak. What about their rock bottom? Have you seen it? Because if you haven't, how do you know you peaked?

I'm full of useless information so I am simultaneously informative AND useless.

Having a basement bedroom made me a drunken master of stairs.

Once I figure out necromancy I'm going to make a killing in the necrophiliac circles.

I'd rather chew on broken glass and lemons than think for a second. Empty head hours 25/8.

We either get the free world we want or we die. Both are things most of us want. We really cant lose if we stir up a wee bit of revolution.

I bet if you tried one bite of the rich it'd be your favorite flavor. 🤤🤤

Just your friendly neighborhood idiot reminding you insurance companies are like the biggest reason your medicine is 300$ or more without having insurance.