C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

News? x.com/CNCadetReporter Jefferson City, TN Joined October 2017

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

5 years ago

BREAKING: We have given C-N officials access to this account to collect concerns students might have about the Fall semester: “We want to open a sincere dialogue.” says an unnamed University rep, “I really encourage you to make your voice heard.”

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

5 years ago

Carson-Newman regrets to inform you that it can not enforce a no-plagiarism policy, it can only encourage students to avoid plagiarism. “Banning plagiarism would be a flagrant violation of students’ civil rights.” say two University lawyers in unison while knowingly high-fiving.

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

5 years ago

“Fowler was standing behind the camera. He was holding a gun! We had no choice but to take off our masks!” Orientation Leaders speak out against administrative meddling in group photo debacle.

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

C-N twitter users debut suite of tenure-friendly, novelty accounts. "For too long we [media-savvy professors] have wondered 'will I get fired for liking this tweet?'" said an anonymous prof, "Now I can rest easy knowing no amount of timeline snooping will get me in hot water."

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

Carson-Newman representatives politely ask that if students contract the Coronavirus while on spring break, that they “please wash their hands before returning to campus.”

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

Due to a character limitation on LiveSafe, C-N has requested we share the remainder of this urgent message. “...SEVERE STORM, BRACE FOR THE WORST. STATISTICLY, WE ONLY EXPECT TWO BUILDINGS TO REMAIN INTACT—CHOOSE CAREFULLY... GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOULS...”

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

BREAKING: Local student logs onto seven library computers in desperate attempt to print one document.

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

We’re still accepting nominations for C-N twitter’s Tweet of the Year! Keep up the submissions! Deadline is 11:59 PM on Dec 27 (tomorrow as of writing)

C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

We’re still accepting nominations for C-N twitter’s Tweet of the Year! Keep up the submissions! Deadline is 11:59 PM on Dec 27 (tomorrow as of writing)

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

What was the best tweet of C-N twitter in 2019? We need YOUR help in order to answer this question! Submit your nominations via reply or DM. The criteria is... whatever you would like it to be. Once we have accrued enough submissions a poll will follow. And then... awards!

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

BREAKING: Fundamental miscommunication becomes evident after romantically-optimistic students flock to C-N’s new “Single Sign On” service.

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The Sweatwater Boys Films @BoysFilms

6 years ago

*Contest* Prize: You will receive Bobby for a six hour period to do whatever you want with him. Rules to enter: Simply give this tweet a RT

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

“Will I die if I go to the caf?” — the trials of students locked in the Alpha Chi assassin’s game.

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

8 years ago

CN DPS has issued a final parking memo explaining that all parking spots are imaginary and if you own a car you will be fined.

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

Some things never change.

Carson-Newman Probs @CNUprobs

12 years ago

Some things never change.

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

Aramark announces plan to convert Eaglebucks into a cryptocurrency meant to rival Bitcoin. “Eaglebucks are backed by a stable desire for a Chick-fil-A sandwich.” remarked an Aramark fancy-numbers guy, “What’s Bitcoin backed by? Absolutely nothing.” Analysts remain skeptical.

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C-N Cadet Reporter Jr. @CNCadetReporter

6 years ago

Heritage Hall preemptively bans podcasts featuring female hosts until visitation start on Sep. 9. “Long-form podcasts featuring female voices would undoubtedly confuse our highly-trained RAs.” commented an unnamed Heritage Hunk, “Podcasts clearly break the spirit of visitation.”