ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

Finishing projects is a drag. Consult! United States Joined July 2017

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

This story is maybe an 8. “An 8??? No, it’s *maybe* a 3.”

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As an employer, I take 6 months paternity leave, but provide employees with none.

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I Am Devloper @iamdevloper

8 years ago

every contractor giving their update in a team stand-up

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As a Project Manager, we need to justify a 6 week #sprint. Related: "6 Week Sprint" sounds like a great romcom title. Owen Wilson?

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As a project manager, I need at least three more non-technical ppl billed to this project. #agile #scrumish #java #consultantlife

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As a developer, I should create a twitter acct bagging on big software Inc. #IHopeMyLastWordsAreNot #Accenturehackforward #HealthInnovation

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As developer, Ima outsource that shit to India, to someone that can't npm install, much less yarn.

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As an API, I have no concept of a user story.

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As a Scrum Master, I need to learn what agile is, then not do it.

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As a consulting developer, I need to invent more acronyms, so that I can bill for them.

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As a project manager, I need to write stories about writing stories so you can have a story about your story dawg!

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As a consultant, I need api's that can't scale so I can get paid for longer.

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As a developer, I need to look really busy at work. #hackerterminal

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

As a developer, I don't want to learn from other devs. I know everything that is needed to bill hrs.

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ConsulantDev @ConsulantDev

8 years ago

I'm going to be tweeting out developer stories and such. This acct is not meant to be taken seriously... but it might all be real.

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