Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

A ridiculous human being. Writer for @ComedyCentral/@vh1/@trutv. Actor on Sharknado/The Orville/General Hospital/NFL Network/MTV Instagram- @ Curtis.Kingsley instagram.com/curtis.kingsle… Los Angeles, CA Joined July 2011

Tweets

9K
Followers

32K
Following

491
Likes

7K

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

3 weeks ago

I don’t see what all the fuss with this #eclipse is about. I’ve been staring at the sun for hours now and I don’t see anything!

0 1 3 270 0

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

4 months ago

If you are only as old as you feel, I’m “Just pulled an ab muscle slicing hard cheeses” old.

0 1 6 448 0

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

5 months ago

I got to be on @PictionaryonTV with @MrJerryOC !!! Thanks for having me!

0 0 3 276 0

Download Image

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

5 months ago

Sometimes, when lighting my scented candles, I let it burn down past 1/4” of wax left. That’s right ladies…I’m a #badboy.

1 0 0 306 0

Adam Cozens @AdamCozens27

5 months ago

Picked a rough time of the year to give up egg nog.

0 2 12 627 0

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

5 months ago

Ahh Christmas…the one time per year you can lie to your spouse about your online purchases.

0 0 4 304 0

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

5 months ago

Everyone always talks about #BlackFriday and #CyberMonday, but no one ever mentions #RegretWednesday…the day all of your purchases are delivered and you realize how much you spent.

0 1 6 333 0

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

5 months ago

If “An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” I’m surprised the medical industrial complex hasn’t come out with some sort of smear campaign against Apple Growers yet.

0 0 3 299 0

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

6 months ago

I’m old enough to have this recommended by a Doc, but immature enough to think this was pronounced “Cock 10.”

1 0 9 644 0

Download Image

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

6 months ago

With the Holidays coming up, I’d like to weigh in on this #DieHard debate. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and yes, I do think it’s a Thanksgiving movie

0 1 1 326 0

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

6 months ago

This is the time of year when I go from shorts to pants. It is also the time of year where I realize my pants no longer fit.

0 0 6 291 0

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

6 months ago

All Hallows Eve wouldn’t be complete without my girl @RachelTrue ! #TheCraft

0 0 4 328 0

Download Image

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

6 months ago

Her- Don’t spend money on anything unnecessary. Me-

0 1 5 408 0

Download Image

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

6 months ago

Hey lady, the number of acceptable steps you can stand behind me on an escalator is 2 or more, not 1! I don’t need you face level w my butt

0 1 1 251 0

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

7 months ago

Good thing I’m not an employee! *walks away touching everything*

0 0 1 361 0

Download Image

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

7 months ago

One of my favorite quotes about adversity: “When God closes a door…he makes sure to turn off the lights first. Because electricity ain't free. Not even for God.

1 1 8 428 1

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

7 months ago

I love that this sign says they’ll fine your corpse $200 AFTER it causes you instant death

1 0 5 259 0

Download Image

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

7 months ago

When little kids are tired of walking, they just stop and wait for someone to pick them up. That’s the kind of lifestyle that I aspire to.

0 0 6 268 0

Curtis Kingsley @CurtisKingsley

7 months ago

I know everyone is super excited about a certain boy band from the 90s reuniting!!! Trust me, no one is more excited about Keanu Reeves’s band #DogStar than me.