Countess of Waterdeep @DeepCountess

'like watching an opera... very beautiful but I have absolutely no clue what you're talking about.' Pronouns: All. Gender is a construct, tear it apart. Alton, UK Joined February 2009

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Countess of Waterdeep @DeepCountess

a week ago

My husband and I auditioned for the second series of #RoadToAMillion, and I was told the "2 men" group was really oversubscribed, and did I want to try re-recording my audition with my sister? Given how unpleasant these contestants seem, I'd say 72 Films missed a trick with us 😌

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Countess of Waterdeep @DeepCountess

2 months ago

"Would you like some help with your train journey? The help may be less than useless." Wow, it's just like speaking to an actual member of the train staff! Baffling to me that @thetrainline could possibly roll out a system that tells you right from the start that it's useless.

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Countess of Waterdeep @DeepCountess

2 months ago

Total joke @EastMidRailway - sat onboard at Derby train station to get an announcement saying the driver hadn't turned up! I would've thought that was a pretty basic fucking requirement for a train, but I'm not an industry expert. Missed our connection, so we're stuck for an hour

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Countess of Waterdeep @DeepCountess

4 months ago

I really liked Spain! #Eurovision2025

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Countess of Waterdeep @DeepCountess

4 months ago

Lynda Bellingham's back, and now she's French! #Eurovision2025

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Countess of Waterdeep @DeepCountess

4 months ago

Got #Eurovision on while I'm in the kitchen. It does sound rather like Luxembourg is singing "Poopy Monkey Soup"

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Countess of Waterdeep @DeepCountess

5 months ago

"Well, Aneila - as the fastest runner-up in this Grand Final, inexplicably, you're the winner!" #Gladiators

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Countess of Waterdeep @DeepCountess

5 months ago

Waiting at Hull for a @northernassist train to York, for a trip up to Darlington. Train is late, as always. We've literally never made the connection at York to Darlington, Northern has *always* been late. Isn't privatisation brilliant? At least they vary their made-up excuses.

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Ken Barlow @I_am_KenBarlow

6 months ago

Russell Brand is now investigating whether Joanna Lumley assisted Penelope Keith in the JFK assassination, or whether she was just a Patsy.

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Countess of Waterdeep @DeepCountess

7 months ago

More massively unreliable service from @StagecoachEMid 🙄 Don't know why it comes as a surprise at this point, but an entire bus just not shown up this morning. No notice, no updates, just stood in the cold for 45 minutes. Great way to start a Friday.