George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley
Yea I'm a unicorn, deal with it. Maryland, USA Joined July 2015-
Tweets29
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Followers25
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Following146
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Likes4
Instead of "the john", I call my toilet "the jim" that way it sounds better when I say I'm going to the jim first thing every morning.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?......it gets toad away.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?....put it on my bill.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?.....it's okay, he woke up.
A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but it was okay because it was a soft drink...
Cleaned bae's room and did his laundry then he bought me food 😄😋
Apparently, Awkward and Faking It got cancelled. Someone please tell me this is fake.
I respectfully decline the position of being a senior. Maybe I'll be ready in a few more years. Ha jk I'll never be ready. #dyinginside
You’ll never believe who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor! Everybody! #haha😂😭 #seriouslysomeonestopme #lame
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now #haha #stillnotfunny #someonejustloveme
I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn’t get bacon seeds anywhere. #haha #lamejokes #someonestopme
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. # haha #lamejokes #notfunny #itried
My socks are cute. Thank god for that cause feet be gross. Who agree? #ewww #feetstank #sockies
I haven't seen any statuses about ninjas lately... Well played ninjas.
I really like ceilings... I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If I'm trusting you with my money, don't you think you can trust me with a pen?
I just dropped my laptop of the boat... It's a Dell, rolling in the deep.
I do 5 sit-ups every morning. It may not sound like much, but there is only so many times you can hit the snooze button...
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor and think, I'd so tap that.
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Andrew White @andreww0125
362 Followers 820 Following You don’t know what you’ve got till it goes, till it’s gone : he/him
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692 Followers 697 Following Assistant Football Coach @ St Georges Tech 🇸🇱 #DWWD #JDA #BL9 #JM54
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189 Followers 153 Following
Kayla Trippett @TrippettKayla
180 Followers 203 Following IG: kaylasummer_xoxo SC: kaylatrippett 🌹2 tears cause I got alotta angels
Katie Carter @kt_crtr
108 Followers 92 Following she/her ~ PhD candidate in the Rinker Lab at MUSC 👩🏼🔬 ~ Elizabethtown College ‘21 🧠
b @bblizzard_
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6 Followers 12 Following
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Destiny Rittenhouse @writingdestiny
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3 Followers 31 Following
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28 Followers 230 Following I am a live streamer and play Xbox one games. https://t.co/iKl1YG6UKm
Alexandra Niaomi @ANiaomi
4 Followers 3 Following I'm not a person, I'm a little shit and I pretty much do whatever I want so FUCK YOUR SHIT BITCH
drewbrew @drewbrew102
120 Followers 221 Following
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