Dorey Simple @DoreySimple
I hate when people act a different way when they get around certain people. Bern, Kansas Joined April 2014-
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Voldemort's parents took the "I got your nose" game a little too seriously.
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*When my teacher gets pregnant* Normal people: "Congratulations!" Me: "My teacher had sex?"
The awkward moment when you're pretending you're talking to someone on the phone and then it rings.
"Why are you talking during my lesson?" "Why are you teaching during my conversation?"
Age 4: "I love Mommy." Age 16: "I HATE HER." Age 20: "Mom was right" Age 57: "I wish my Mom was still here." RT if you love your Mom. <3
When someone has a nickname, calling them by their real name doesn't sound right at all.
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
Asking a question you already know the answer to just to see if someone will lie.
"Rawr" doesn't mean "I love you" in dinosaur. Have you ever seen Jurassic Park? It means, "I'm going to fucking eat you!"
RT if you solved this in 10 seconds or less: 1 x 2 x 3 x 4 x 5 x 6 x 7 x 8 x 9 x 0.
2 + 2 = Fish. 3 + 3 = 8. 7 + 7 = Triangle. 8 + 8 = Butterfly. Retweet if you get it!
Me: "Do your socks have holes in them?" Friend: "No!" Me: "Then how did you get your feet in?"
Kid: "Mom, why did my aunt name my cousin Rose?" Mom: "Cuz she like flowers." Me: "What do you like?" Mom: "Dick, stop asking questions."
You never realize how weird your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else.
2 + 2= Fish. 3 + 3 = Eight. 8 + 8 = Butterfly. 7 + 7= Triangle. Only smart people will get this. Retweet if you get it! ;)
Boy: "Mom, is that my little baby sister in there?" Mom: "Yup." Boy: "Do you love her?" Mom: "Of course!" Boy: "Then why did you eat her!?"
Voldemort's parents took the "I got your nose" game a little too seriously.
Teacher: "I am beautiful. What tense is this?" Student: "Obviously past."
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