Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

The date is October 31st, 2035. You’re cuddled up on the couch watching an old rendition of Frankenstein with your wife. Your five year old kid walks in and gives you a tug on the sleeve. “Daddy, whats Halloween?”

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Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

5 years ago

Proud member of the “hunt-and-peck” generation. #Dontknowhowtotype

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Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

5 years ago

After spending the morning with my two beautiful grandmothers, I am now confused as to how I don’t have a girlfriend. IM PERFECT. Sources: Grandma on mother’s side Grandma on father’s side

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Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

5 years ago

David Blane is one of the most amazing people to walk this earth. He is straight up UNDERRATED

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Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

5 years ago

THE SIMPSONS

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Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

5 years ago

Youtube red is like a girl who just cant take a hint. #screwoff

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Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

5 years ago

Real wealth is going to 5 guys and ordering what you want regardless of the price

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Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

5 years ago

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K

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Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

5 years ago

Are giraffes even real? Oh crap this isn’t Siri. No I would not like to post. Don’t post don’t post don’t post

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Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

5 years ago

“Suck toes” is an undefeated insult

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Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson

5 years ago

#WednesdayThoughts If you removed all the veins, arteries, & capillaries from your body, and tied them end to end, you would die.

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Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

5 years ago

Yall ever get so little sleep that the first thing you think about when you wake up is when you’re going back to bed?

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Ethan Perlstein @EthanPerlstein

5 years ago

Under the table foot touching is weird. On one hand, if you don’t know the person it creates sexual tension. On the other hand, I really wanna punch my brother in the face.