Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

Private investigator, Vietnam Vet, Mustache. Hawaii Joined October 2008

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

I have an uncanny knack for painting myself into a corner… but those folks @Benjamin_Moore need to give me more help before I start!

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Helped a wonderful long time friend and client. Everyone smiled at the end. Things not discussed: Her actual granddaughter is dead. Her fake granddaughter somehow was able to marry Sam Malone even though real granddaughter is dead. Sam Malone got chewed up by boat propellers.

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

For real impact help for the #Maui fire, please consider memberplanet.com/campaign/cnham…

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

For real impact help for the #Maui fire, please consider mauifoodbank.org/donate/

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

For real impact help for the #Maui fire, please consider gofund.me/5f658442

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

For real impact help for the #Maui fire, please consider gofund.me/fc5981ca

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

The devastating fires on #Maui weigh on us all. I’m going to send some links for worthy causes that me, Higgy, Theodore and Ricky support. You decide where your money goes but, if you can, please help.

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

Higgins moved a couple of… uh… flight attendants into the guest house. Turns out these stew… uh… flight attendants are assassins! This is like the 39th time this has happened!

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

Time has little to do with infinity and jelly donuts. But I always bring an extra pair of undies to a stake out because of time and jelly donuts.

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

Early morning surf ski, now free beer at the club. Then maybe we’ll blow up the Ferrari, I don’t know. They day is young.

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

Luther H. Gillis just came by for a visit… again. I think he had spaghetti sauce on his shirt and he kept asking me if he could watch Better Call Saul on my Netflix. What? I think he may have had a stroke.

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

Agatha (Higgins’ secret spooning partner) told me I need a #BlueCheck to be more legit. So I went to see the doctor. I didn’t expect rubber gloves to be involved.

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

Rick and TC finally found me in the dang ocean. This has been happening for for like 4 decades, what they heck is their problem? Happy #4thofJuly

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

Next week is the #4thofJuly, so it’s time to wax up my surf ski and mustache. I need to look good when I almost get killed again by the bro in the speedboat and George the Shark.

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

2 years ago

Time has little to do with infinity and jelly donuts, but a crap ton to do with short shorts and mustache wax.

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

3 years ago

I’ve been sitting here forever waiting for TC! I’m almost sober! When is he going to get here with the Old Düsseldorf beer?

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

3 years ago

So it looks like the TV Fake Magnum PI is done for good and cancelled. How did that take so long? Dude didn’t even know how to wear short shorts!

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Fake Magnum PI @FakeMagnumPI

6 years ago

Me and Rick and TC are enjoying a drink at this place near the other place and there is a divorce lady who wants to buy my services but I’m like hey, me and Rick and TV don’t know where we are mostly. Need Higgins or one of the Simon and Simon and Simon guys to drive us home!