Corn Syrup Solids @Howbow_Dat

Met this hot chick at the bar. We went back to my apartment, and the first thing she says is where is the crapper because I need to take a giant Chipolte shit. My full mast erection decended into my abdomen. Im gonna tell her to take a shower.

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Corn Syrup Solids @Howbow_Dat

3 weeks ago

How long do you think you can last during a zombie apocalypse? As long as giant underground worms don’t burst through my basement cinder block wall, I think I will be OK. I need to get an elephant gun. I want to marry Reba McEntire.

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Corn Syrup Solids @Howbow_Dat

3 weeks ago

I just took a piss in the dish washer. Maybe I need to attend a n AAA meeting?

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Corn Syrup Solids @Howbow_Dat

3 weeks ago

I want to get so super obese that my dick won’t show when naked. I could shop at Walmart naked and nobody could see my shame. It’s a win,win.

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Corn Syrup Solids @Howbow_Dat

3 weeks ago

Shouldn’t masturbation be considered taking a selfie?

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Corn Syrup Solids @Howbow_Dat

3 weeks ago

You know I dont like people. Because the more people I know the more people might show up at my funeral. And I don't t like crowds.

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Corn Syrup Solids @Howbow_Dat

3 weeks ago

Is there any other vegetable that you naw off a cob?

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Corn Syrup Solids @Howbow_Dat

3 weeks ago

Holy shit. I just figured out a way to be a successful and acceptable alcoholic. Make sure you are always in the airport. According to 100% of the world it’s perfectly fine to drink a vodka gimlet at 9am in the airport bar. You know a 7am flight is perfectly fine to have 14…

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Corn Syrup Solids @Howbow_Dat

3 weeks ago

What the heck is a waffle iron? Who has a wrinkled waffle?

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Corn Syrup Solids @Howbow_Dat

4 weeks ago

Today I leaned there is a difference between the Henie lick and the Heimlich maneuver. She wasn’t even choking but now I know it’s not alright to try to lick her heinie. it smelled good otherwise.

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Corn Syrup Solids @Howbow_Dat

4 weeks ago

Why does the left freak out about misgendering a mentally ill person and want to make it a crime? Yet, constantly calling everyone that you disagree with a racist nazi fascist is perfectly fine and not inflammatory? 10 years of screaming “Hitler” and you endocrine disrupted…