Iman @Imonymous

Reactive Voice. sites.google.com/site/imonymous/ Emeryville, CA Joined May 2010

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

What’re my Friday night plans? Wife has planned to go to a restaurant for dinner. My plan is to have a plan to getdafkoutta there by 9 PM.

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

goIndiGo: feel every kilo

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

Travis Head looks like he might’ve played against the Lagaan team

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Just drove past a giant real-estate hoarding in Noida about “4/5 BHKs with stunning views of golf course…” Took me a few seconds to realize what seemed like the starting price - was probably just a phone number.

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

4yo pretend playing with Formula 1 cars called 911 to report a crash and then hung up with the cutest “bye-bye!” :’)

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

Everytime I gotta microwave something I’m not sure for how long, I look at the time it shows and apply a random BODMAS rule to the digits for a reasonable hint. That’s just how I think now. People who’re like “WTF dude?!” are also the ones asking why I hated Interstellar so much.

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

Colleagues wishing “Enjoy your weekend!” to fellow parents is so absurd. As if, exactly at 5 PM on Fridays, their children are supposedly vanishing into thin air and then magically reappearing on Mondays sharp at 9 AM to finish up the tantrum they’d left half-unthrown.

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

Avoid making eye-contact with your partner/spouse if you just fixed a really large piece of furniture after several hours of toiling, otherwise you also risk getting the look, “Lekin order kisne kiya tha??”

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

Major problem with Male Pattern Baldness is you never get to let your hair down without raising a few eyebrows.

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

If you ever run into John Oliver please tell him how much I enjoyed his performance in English Vinglish! Who could ever match his English teachery?

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

“Death By Pollen” - nice title for my memoir

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

The gist of stories like Rocky or The Karate Kid is if you do your own chores you don’t need a gym membership.

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

Me: I’m also into photography dude! Dude: Yeah, bro? Show me one photo that’s not a baby picture. Me: *digs one up from 2015 A.D.* Check this out - it’s called “medium rare view”

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

I’mma responsibly recycle ♻️ the hell out of this handsoap/dishwashing/laundry detergent bottle. I’mma totally save the planet today! Water reqd to recycle bottle: ~1.5 Gallons Water spent rinsing it so far: >3+ Gallons

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

I cant handle all this preschooler trash talk anymore. WTF does “I love everyone better than you Gaggy” even supposed to mean?

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Iman @Imonymous

2 years ago

Instead of subscribing to Twitter Blue, is there another monetized service to abnormally over-feature in @elonmusk’s feed to settle the torment? I’d really prefer to not unfollow him, because he’s also partly iconic. So just the interesting morsels, not his gif collection.

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XREAL 👓 @XREAL_Global

3 years ago

Nreal Air is the gift that keeps on giving. #GivetheGiftofAR Compatible with PS5, Switch, Steam Deck and XBOX. amzn.to/3xRsz9t #NrealAir #PlayDifferent #NrealBlackFriday

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Iman @Imonymous

3 years ago

My manager has made our work environment quite #djent-friendly… Me: Have you heard the new #EvanMarien album? It features #Intervals and the drummer from #Meshuggah (*realizing it’s Fredrik Thordendal not Tomas Haake*) Sorry, it’s the guitarist, not drummer Manager: same thing

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Iman @Imonymous

3 years ago

Evolutionarily it’s almost become necessary for humans to ensure offsprings sleep through alternate diurnal cycles up to the age of 8. This is to develop enough brain cells to compete with and survive the complexities of an AI powered world, not just because they’re young rascals