Funny Tweets @ItsFunTimes

Keep Calm and Have Fun. favstar.fm/users/ItsFunTi… Joined October 2013

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Funny Tweets @ItsFunTimes

7 years ago

Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.

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Funny Tweets @ItsFunTimes

7 years ago

Humans transfer data between brains by opening one's mouth and vibrating the air in the direction of the other human.

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Mr. Drinks On Me @Mr_DrinksOnMe

7 years ago

You've heard of elf on a shelf, but have you heard of a sloth on a goth?

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Mr. Drinks On Me @Mr_DrinksOnMe

7 years ago

His mom cuts his hair.

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Mr. Drinks On Me @Mr_DrinksOnMe

7 years ago

Argentina's coach forgets about gravity.

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Mr. Drinks On Me @Mr_DrinksOnMe

7 years ago

Stephen King has a son named Joe. I'm not joking, but he is.

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Mr. Drinks On Me @Mr_DrinksOnMe

7 years ago

The Avengers: Endgame trailer had 62 million views in 3 days. It would have been 124 million views, but..

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Funny Tweets @ItsFunTimes

7 years ago

I got thrown out of DisneyWorld for spreading my dead mother's remains around the park. It was her dying wish. The security guards said I probably should have cremated her first.

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Mr. Drinks On Me @Mr_DrinksOnMe

7 years ago

One taught me love, One taught me patience, One taught me pain, and one taught me that Marvel won't give Tony Stark a break. #AvengersEndgame

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Mr. Drinks On Me @Mr_DrinksOnMe

7 years ago

*girlfriend has huge meltdown about something* My brain: Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Me: Calm down

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Mr. Drinks On Me @Mr_DrinksOnMe

7 years ago

"Where are you from?" "California" "Where in California?" "Los Angeles" "What's that near?" "Malibu, Long Beach.." "Where?" "Hollywood. I'm from Hollywood. I live on top of the Hollywood sign. I'm best friends with the Jenner sisters and eat avocado toast daily."