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It's one of those days, no, not days, week, I just should have ignored life around me and disappeared from everything and everyone. I really just stuck. So many reasons to leave. So many responsibilities not to leave. What can I possibly do?
I sit here in my car, thinking about why I'm here. I look around me I see people going about their daily routine. Not a thought or care about the thousands of people right here in my own city who have nothing. I have become one of those. How did I get Here?
I looked at myself in the mirror. I don't see the person I used to be. The happy, me who had every outlook on life. A better future. All I see is a tired worn out thing staring back at me with no joy, no love for life. I have to get this back
I'm stuck in my ways, this I know. I resist any type of change. But there has to be something different for me. Something better that I'm missing. I need to set out and find that, thing, I'm missing.
I'm about to give myself the Christmas present I've been waiting for. Freedom from this mental and physical abuse. I will be free soon. I may have nothing when I go, but I will have everything I need.
Im sitting here wondering why I can't seem to change the negative in my life. It sounds like a simple thing to do. Yet every day I don't change it. All it would take is one step. Every thing else is already lined up. Just taking that one step seems to be the hardest possible act.
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