No Context Movie Reviews @KarlRatesMovies
Reviews of movies that only describe a single scene without any context. Run by @karlsmallwood youtube.com/channel/UCWSNI… Joined October 2022-
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Predator (1987): A squad of highly trained special forces soldiers raze about 4 square miles of jungle to the ground with machine gun fire because Bill Duke saw an alien shaped ghost. Five stars.
Hot Fuzz (2007): Simon Pegg goes Beast Mode and knocks out two pensioners by making them overdose on hands and feet respectively. Five stars.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014): A man with a chest wider than a car door rage-sprints half a marathon and kills a guy by making his spine overdose on boat hull. Five stars.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995): A group of immaculately well coordinated ninja themed superheroes defeat the ultimate evil by kneeing him square in the todge. Five stars.
One of the most relatable moments in a film for me is that bit in Equilibrium where Christian Bale rearranges a perfectly organised desk just to avoid having to do any work.
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991): A robot from the future tries to save humanity from total annihilation by shooting every cop and figure of authority it sees on sight. Five stars.
Lilo & Stitch (2002): A precocious and boisterous young girl responds to being told she’s crazy by briefly turning into Bryan Fury from Tekken 3 because her hands, like the film, are rated E for Everyone.
This is my favourite edit I’ve ever done.
Extraction (2020): Chris Hemsworth gives us just a taste of what Thor would have done to Noobmaster69 it he’d ever gotten his hands on him. Five stars.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002): Viggo Mortensen accidentally ruins any potential rewatch of this series by kicking a helmet and creating a piece of trivia guys who make the movies their entire personality think quoting at you constitutes a conversation. Five stars.
The Addams Family (1991): Punished Raul Julia desperately tries to understand a severed hand who uses the medium of spoon to tell him his wife has been kidnapped. Five stars.
Resident Evil: Vendetta (2017): A lady Godzilla’s 8 city blocks in half with a handheld railgun in an attempt to destroy a mutated testicle monster that has an anime protagonist in a headlock. Five stars.
Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999): An immortal wish-granting genie tricks a prison guard into letting it kick the living fuck out of him. Though not before going full Bugs Bunny and mugging for the camera. Five stars.
Pineapple Express (2008): Seth Rogan and James Franco team up to turn Danny McBride’s entire world to sink. Five stars.
John Wick (2015): Keanu Reeves channels his inner Shane McMahon and delivers a 20 foot high elbow drop to a patch of floor that probably had a hand in killing his dog. Five stars.
The Karate Kid (1984): An elderly Japanese man defeats a group of skeletons by repeatedly kicking them square in the balls as a kid dressed as a shower watches on in awe. Five stars.
First Blood (1982): A police officer, with help from John Rambo’s elbow, inadvertently recreates the Donald Glover flaming pizzas meme 35 years before it even existed. Five stars.
Bad Neighbours (2014): Seth Rogan briefly turns into a dummy and eats shit harder than anybody has ever eaten shit before. Five stars.
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