Jason Weynand @LinkTalks
Things my toddler says... you know for your amusement and stuff. Fayetteville, NC Joined April 2017-
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Following253
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Link looking at his new watch* Dad what’s eight zero five mean? Me: It’s eight o five dude that’s the time. Link: eight o five? Like the beers you drink? Me: 💀 💀 💀
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To everyone who is at my son’s school recital: YOU DON’T NEED TO WEAR A GALLON OF COLOGNE/PERFUME
Been finding these in the most random places, like inside my workout shoes.... #ParentLife
Kids when they sense you eating a cookie while you’re hiding on the garage
If a baby is quiet there is a 100% chance something is wrong.
My wife @mrstrex23 told me to pack Link’s lunch... I don’t get why she’s mad.
Apparently 6 years old is the stage where little boys will just straight up sucker punch you in the eye. I’d be mad but the little guy has a great jab and I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t proud.
Link and I are watching Ghostbusters at uncle Matt's house and we get to the end and link says "Marshmellow man is down... wah wah wahhhhhhh"
Link: mom, I want to move to hawaii but you got pregnant the last time and I just can’t take care of another baby. I just think that’s a lot. Mom: 😳 (it is 6am)
Apparently I’m his butler.
5 year old: dad what are you gonna do with your truck? Wanna fix it up? Me: idk bud I might make it a crappy prerunner #chevy #silverado #V6 #2wheeldrive 5yo: all you need is some Mixy Tombson tires and a hammer *rides bicycle into sunset* #MickeyThomosonTires @MickeyThompsonT
Me: did you pee? Link: yea, remember? Me: oh yea, I just had you clean the toilet Link: it wasn’t my fault, Jesus made me pee everywhere. Me: umm really, Jesus’s fault? Link: yea, he made you and you made me and I peed everywhere. Me: not a good augment
I voted for #TeamAvengers on @TheTylt—@Avengers are Earth's Mightiest Heroes! tylt.it/RkzPQM
5year old: Hey dad what’s 100 years old? Dad: uhh 5yo: YOUR BUTT!!! Dad: Thanks bro...
5yo: Hey guys remember when you were in the shower and I busted into the bathroom? Just reminding you!
Mom giving our 5yo a test: Mom: what’s my favorite thing to say? 5yo: I don’t want to get in trouble for saying a bad word... Mom: just say it buddy 5yo:...... Fuck.....💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Actual conversation with my toddler after pre-k one day
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