Lousy Librarian @LousyLibrarian
Lousiness is in the eye of the beholder, esp. if you're looking in my direction. Joined August 2014-
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"Where are the new books?" "On these shelves over here." "No, where are the books that are actually new?" "...These shelves?" "No, that's wrong. There's a book on there that was also there last week. Would you call that new?" "I mean, they're not avocados, it's still good."
We have this strict system in our library location where all the books nobody wants are rigorously shelved exactly where they're supposed to be, while books people actually ask for are kept literally anywhere else. It's quirky but I feel like it sets us apart.
Because of my curse that can only be broken by collecting one thousand alternate pronunciations of "Baldacci"
Because of my curse that can only be broken by collecting one thousand alternate pronunciations of "Baldacci"
A parent to her child in the library: "Stop that right now. Look, the librarian is getting mad at you!" "Actually I'm getting mad at YOU, sorry for the confusion."
I feel like our children's librarian has been following a particular discourse on Twitter because every picture book she's put on display in the branch right now is about a bear
Eternal mysteries: * What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? * Which came first, the chicken or the egg? * Why did all these people decide to come to the library on a Saturday? #saturdaylibrarian
When prison’s full of librarians: * Gangs named after Hogwarts houses rumble with ones named after Meyers-Briggs types * Prisoners negotiate not with cigarettes but contraband packs of golf pencils * Someone forgets their email password, you give it to them as a prison tattoo
“Hi, can I get movies from the library?“ “Yes.” “Can I get a list of all the movies you have?” “We do have an online catalog. But you can also just think of a movie and ask us to look for it.” “But I don’t really know any movies.” “You don’t?” “No, I don’t really like movies.”
"I see that you have this book on the shelf, but I want to request it as an e-audiobook." "What book is it?" "'The Idiosyncratic Minutiae of Niche Esoterica, by Obscurio Z. Academicus." "I'm afraid that's not offered by the publisher on audio." "Well, that's weird."
Children under 10 must be accompanied by an adult in the library. Please be advised that this is a serious policy that we won’t enforce in any effective way.
Our library is observing Earth Day by printing out approximately one million coloring sheets and I have questions
While the library doesn't have any formal 420 programming scheduled, you're welcome to celebrate by enjoying the cloud that is currently located over in the patron seating cluster near the vending machine. #saturdaylibrarian
“I need to print something from my phone.” “There are a couple ways we can try to do that.” “I’d like to pick the way that will take the most time, with the most opportunities for user error and the lowest probability of customer satisfaction.” “That is the most popular option.”
Make no mistake, James Patterson is clearly opposed to book banning. But he encourages authors to maintain perspective: if one of your books gets banned, don't worry, can't readers just pick from one of your other nine thousand published titles? dailyiowan.com/2024/04/16/ask…
“What’s going on in that meeting room?” “Just a meeting.” “Can I go in?” “You don’t even know what it’s about — why would you want to go in?” “I just like meetings.” “In that case, would you like an application to work in library management?”
Remember those news reports about libraries going through picture books and adding clothes to the naked characters? It gave me the idea to go through some of our popular adult fiction and add nuance to the characters.
"Is there anyone here at the library who can help me file my taxes?" "I'm afraid not, but could I interest you in these eclipse glasses?"
Stacked Librarian @StckedLibrarian
9K Followers 177 Following Mistress of Library & Information Science.📚⚗️ Librarian. Twitter only. Guffaws. Good Vibes.⚡️Banned Library @bannedlibrary
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2K Followers 3K Following books | bear GIFs | library stuff | my life | sorry for the typos (she/her)May Sunshine ☀️�.. @msmaysunshine
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48 Followers 122 Following That blog has been dormant for a decade but I really enjoyed creating it.April Lankford @AprilLankford
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547 Followers 385 Following cats • comics • cooking • film • fine arts • GLAM • letter-writing • Muppets • nature • photography • Sims 2 • Star Trek: TNG • STEM@LousyLibrarian If they were avocados they would be either stiff and unreadable or totally ruined.
I'm going to take this a step further & say Black men who don't necessarily meet white proglib approval are needed in the library. I just tweeted about this yesterday. The types of Black men that white librarians like are NOT the types of Black men that connect w these Black boys
Black men are needed in the library!! I have a lot of young black boys that come into my branch and I’m blessed that I got three black male librarians that they can connect with..you can’t teach culture or representation!! LEADERS OF THE NEW COOL!
Please do not use MULTIPLE clippings of your hair as bookmarks in your library books, if you do please remove them BEFORE returning your book in the bookdrop.
so close!! it’s actually my team losing a baseball game
Every woman’s biggest nightmare is late marriage.
You got off lightly. I have a coworker doomed to cover the Circ Desk every Saturday until a patron correctly pronounces Jodi Picoult's surname.
Because of my curse that can only be broken by collecting one thousand alternate pronunciations of "Baldacci"
So rather than extrapolating that men need to do better to make women feel safe they think we fuck bears. 🤔
@LousyLibrarian Bald-aksi Bald-ooch-ee Bal-uh-chee Bald-ass-ee Mine is I like to get hit on by sexagenarians
So this just happened: My doorbell rang. I opened the door to find one of the men (half my age) who delivered my furniture last week standing there saying, "I stopped to say hello & tell you how beautiful you are." Next time I buy furniture I'm requesting it be delivered by bears
Maybe if men did not piss us off so badly we would not prefer bears.
No
@LousyLibrarian In library school, bet you didn’t think “outsourcing of parental responsibility” was in the job description.
@LousyLibrarian I fucking hate it when they make us the bad guys.
@LousyLibrarian Why do parents/caregivers do that?? I hate when they do that. I usually smile at the child and tell them I'm glad they are here today and give them a high five.
@LousyLibrarian I HATE, HATE, HATE when parents tell their children that I'm angry at them and make me out to be the bad guy.