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MFV @MFVersion

The best version of the Bible you've ever laid your sexy little eyes on. Williamstown, KY Joined August 2017
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MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"And the man's dick and the woman's titties were flopping in the wind, and they did not give a single fuck." Genesis 2:25

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"That's why men fuck off from their parents. Because they share body parts with their wives." Genesis 2:24

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"And Adam was like, 'She came out of me? The fuck? Whoa, man. That's what I'll call her: woman. Because that's fucking crazy.'" Genesis 2:23

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"And from the rib, God made a sexy-ass lady. God told Adam 'Wake up, bitch. Look what I made.'" Genesis 2:22

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"So God roofied Adam, and reached right into his goddamn chest and yanked out one of his fucking ribs. God's so fucking metal." Genesis 2:21

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"Adam was like, 'Chicken. Hammerhead shark. Apatosaurus. Oh tits, a sneaky snake!' But Adam was still feeling pretty lonely." Genesis 2:20

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"So THEN God made all of the fish and birds and dinosaurs and shit so Adam could name them. Oh fuck, yeah, his name was Adam." Genesis 2:19

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"'And I don't need you to be all sad and lonely and jerking off on all of the plants, so I'll make a fine-ass woman for you.'" Genesis 2:18

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"'But see that sexy-ass tree in the middle? Don't even think of eating from that one. Seriously. I'll fucking kill you.'" Genesis 2:17

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"'Oh, and see all of these trees? You can eat whatever the fuck you want from them.'" Genesis 2:16

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"Then God said to the man, 'Listen up, shithead. You're a gardener now. I better not see any weeds when I come back.'" Genesis 2:15

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MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"The other rivers were the Tigris in Assyria and the Euphrates, but who the fuck has ever heard of them?" Genesis 2:14

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MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"The second river was some shit river called the Gihon. It was in Ethiopia so that's enough about that." Genesis 2:13

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"Damn fucking straight. They had gold, perfume, jewelry. Seriously, they were rich as fuck." Genesis 2:12

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"The first river is the Pison in the land of Havilah, which was so fucking tacky it had more gold than Trump's living room." Genesis 2:11

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MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"Eden had a river flowing out of it, and that fucker split into four rivers." Genesis 2:10

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MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"The tree of life so the man could live forever, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil so God could fuck with the man." Genesis 2:9b

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MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"There, God made some sexy-ass fruit trees. Two of the trees were especially banging. " Genesis 2:9a

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MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"Then God was like, 'Shit, I need a hobby.' So He planted a garden in Eden and told the man to get his ass over there. " Genesis 2:8

MFVersion Profile Picture

MFV @MFVersion

8 years ago

"God then Swiffered the ground, made a man out of that dust, cupped His mouth over his nose, and gave the old toot-toot salute." Genesis 2:7

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