Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

Wild-eyed braggart, heartthrob, and Young Ones fan. Friends with The Beast at The Heart of The World. Opinions are yours. I stole them and made them better. evilchopsticks.com The Future Bunker Joined January 2010

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

11 months ago

To summon a lightening storm I first thought I'd try the 'Bottom' approach and I jigged up and down on the roof holding a spatula and chanting, whilst Lauretta sat in a deckchair with a knotted hanky on her head drinking beer. Only managed to summon some bird mess.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

What with a tea war, ghosts, golems, and ghouls all about the house I don't think sitting around waiting for a lightening storm is the best plan. I need to be my own instrument of change! I need to find out how to summon a storm!

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

I've tried attaching jump leads to my monster's ears, pinky fingers, and even eyebrows but it is having no effect. It looks like using lightening to animate a monster isn't just because it looks flashy.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

A microwave over the head of the monster won't work to animate it as it won't turn on with the door open. Maybe jump leads from the car will work. But where on the monster to attach them?

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

I'm led to believe lightening is very effective in animating a monster with life. However, waiting for a lightening storm could take a while. Maybe there's a practical home solution. Maybe if I just put the microwave oven over its head?

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

My patchwork monster is now complete. Held together with a mix of sewing, spit, duct tape, staples, super glue, and in a couple of places blu-tack. Next phase is animating it.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

Who knew trying to attach body parts together from different individuals would be so fiddly? I never did get the hang of sowing at school. I wonder if a combination of pritt stick, duct-tape, and a stapler would work as well?

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

Ways in which constructing a monster from the remains of the dead is similar to going to the cinema: The smell, the dead behind the eyes expression of anyone you meet, it takes place mostly in the dark. That feeling of re-joining the rest of the World when it's over.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

Other ways constructing a monster from the remains of the dead differs from going to the cinema: No-one checking tickets at the cemetery, you can talk without being shushed, but most importantly you don't have to sit through half an hour (half a bloody hour!) of adverts!

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

Opting for larger body parts rather than smaller sweets is just one of many ways building a monster out of dead people is different to going to the cinema.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

When you went to the pick n mix at the cinema it was priced on mass so it paid to be strategic. Don't pick the large sweet shaped like a dolphin, instead get 10 smaller sweets shaped like shrimp. For my monster pick 'n' mix of body parts it is the opposite. The larger the better.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

Choosing parts from different bodies to use for my monster reminds me of going to the cinema. You'd go to the pick and mix before the main feature. Sometimes it was the most fun bit of the trip.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

Lauretta is impressively strong. After only a few trips I already have a freezer full of cadavers. Now comes the fun part - pick and mix.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

After a literal finger buffet Lauretta has gone down to the graveyard to get provisions. By that I of course mean body parts for my monster and midnight snacks for her.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

The Ghulah (actual name Lauretta) took a few moments to take in the tea war but I explained you can ignore it mostly, just try not to step on siege engines, and maybe switch to coffee for the time being.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

Upon entering the mansion we had to step over some tea goblin trenches and avoid some mini-golem trebuchets. It seems they have yet to reach a détente in the first great interspecies tea war of the 21st Century.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

My new ghoulish houseguest was slightly put off by the intense bright light of the mansion. I've agreed to allow her to turn off the lights in her room, but I can not be held responsible for any hauntings that follow.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

I'm not sure what 'I wasn't born in a plague pit' means? Presumably some sort of Ghoul vernacular.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

I tried to tell my new house guest about the ongoing tea goblin/mini-golem war. They replied that they may dine in a graveyard but they weren't born in a plague-pit.

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Mysterious Shred @Mixnmojo0

5 years ago

I've struck a deal with the Ghulah. She will help me dig up the bodies and cart them back to the mansion, and in exchange she can have any left over bits to snack on and gets to stay in one of the spare rooms.