Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

Lawyer committed to access to justice. Writer. Nerd. Slythergriffinclaw. Mom to twin Wildlings. Doer of good. Swears. No uninvited DMs. San Bernardino, CA Joined November 2015

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

My 7 going on 16 year-old just stormed out of the rooming yelling, “I hate everything!” So, that’s fun.

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

Idk how my son’s sense of humor got so dark, but I look forward to the phone calls from concerned teachers.

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

Things heard whilst husband sits with the boys as they bath: “Guard your balls and wash your toes.”

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

My stress ball exploded.

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

The Halloween Snickers with ghoulish green centers taste different. That is all.

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

Please tell me I’m not the only parent who now has does a special load of laundry just for skid marks, or, as my son calls them, mud tracks… #momlife

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

Silly me for thinking there was no wrong way to build with Legos. Thankfully, my bossy son was here to educate me.

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

My sons just ate a burrito and meatballs, respectively, using chopsticks. Does that make us worldly?

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Husband can’t find son’s homework, which was due this morning but mysteriously didn’t make it into the folder and backpack that was sitting on the table when I left for work this morning. So, my lunch plans are pretty clear. Fun times.

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

My sons made my stress ball explode, so decide for yourself how much I’m enjoying motherhood today.

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

It has finally happened. A spider trying to climb out of the toilet I WAS JUST SITTING ON. Fear of spiders no longer irrational. Fear validated.

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

Anybody feel like explaining to my son why it’s unkind to growl at people when he’s unhappy with them?

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

Rowan (6) informs me that I’m amazing, except for my “unfortunate dislike of Gatorade.”

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

I didn’t know that, as soon as I closed escrow, I’d be obsessively googling rare houseplants and their care and getting on the waitlist for heirloom roses. Was that somewhere in the closing documents?

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

Sure fire way to get the husband to cross something off his to-do list? Ask him for instructions so I can do it myself.

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

Apparently, my husband is pissed @ me. He asked me to come into our sunroom, then, as my foot is about to touch down: “Wanna see the biggest f&@&ing spider I’ve ever seen in my life?” No. Also, I’m burning this place to the ground as soon as I double up on my anxiety meds.

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

Whenever my husband asks me if “we’ve” done something, I have an unbelievably strong urge to remind him he’s not a king, therefore the royal “we” has no place in our conversation.

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Morgan_Blvd @MsMorganLaine

3 years ago

Hubby thought he’d score an easy win with the old “who sings this song? Then you should let them” joke. He just walked away from the car at the gas station as I belted out “I will always love you” complete with aggressive hand gestures. I sing this song. I do.