Mavis Maloney @NOTSOGRANDMA
Sassy old bat. Unfortunately married to @NOTSOGRANDPA Joined April 2012-
Tweets314
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Followers4K
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Following6K
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Likes1K
100 retweets and I buy this girl an English tutor RT @AmeliaRickers: Ermagerd 1000 retweets and I get an puppy. Plees help <3
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Mavis Maloney retweeted
You're only as young as you feel! I am feeling my balls. I am balls years old.
Mavis Maloney retweeted
Hi everybody, I seemed to have misplaced my TV remote and I would appreciate it if you could RT this tweet to raise awareness. Thank you.
Mavis Maloney retweeted
What's 4.5 billion years old, but isn't allowed to sit at the grown up table? Pluto (miss you)
Mavis Maloney retweeted
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.
I was at the bank the other day when I asked one of the tellers to help me check my balance, so she pushed me to the floor.
Mavis Maloney retweeted
I never though that a Jewish country existed... But apparently it Israel.
Mavis Maloney retweeted
I'm an obese, quadruple amputee. That's just how I roll.
Mavis Maloney retweeted
After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs. If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me.
Mavis Maloney retweeted
Thinking about quitting my job and becoming a mirror inspector, now thats a job i could really see myself doing.
Mavis Maloney retweeted
I <3 karaoke
Mavis Maloney retweeted
DIE VAMPIRE
Mavis Maloney retweeted
"It was your idea that I organise a threesome", said my wife, "why aren't you happy?" "I wanted to be included", I replied.
I wonder if Peter Dinklage would be offended if I said "I'm a big fan"?
Mavis Maloney retweeted
Earthquakes only happen when Johnny Depp breaks eye contact with Tim Burton.
Mavis Maloney retweeted
Saw a guy with three lip-ring piercings on the subway today. Took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain.
Mavis Maloney retweeted
Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!
Mavis Maloney retweeted
Kim Kardashian's pregnancy test just read "$"
Mavis Maloney retweeted
"How the heaviest Biggest Loser contestant got so fat" WELL I'M NO SCIENTIST BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT WAS FROM EATING A FUCKLOAD
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