Nils Parker @NilsAParker

Multiple NYT & WSJ bestselling author, ghostwriter, editor. Los Angeles & Milwaukee Joined February 2009

Tweets

11K
Followers

6K
Following

749
Likes

2K

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

4 months ago

My favorite quirk of Epstein conspiracy theorists is that none of them seem to be able to conceive of the possibility that a dude who knows he’s going to spend the rest of his life in jail getting extorted thru his butthole might consider death a more preferable, painless option

0 0 4 446 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

4 months ago

Can't wait til Elon & Trump nearly self-immolate, then find their way back together before the midterms under the auspices of supporting austerity candidates in key House districts & everyone starts deepthroating MAGA spin about "ART OF THE DEAL!" & this was the plan all along!

0 0 3 397 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

9 months ago

The snow in this Rams-Eagles game is the perfect microcosm of native Philly fans: mostly white, but also heavy, dirty, sloppy, and aggressively annoying.

1 0 4 1K 1

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

9 months ago

the Venn Diagram of people who can’t throw a baseball thru a hula hoop from 60 feet & the people who’re wondering why every helicopter in the country isn’t just Airwolf-ing it along the ridgelines of the Santa Monica Mountains w/16k lbs of water hanging beneath them is a donut.

1 4 15 2K 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

9 months ago

The prime ministership of Canada is a job too big for one man. There is only one solution.

1 0 3 872 0

Download Gif

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

9 months ago

For a lot of people, watching Landman is like going to Mexico or Thailand for vacation: it’s full of hot girls and crazy dudes doing a bunch of wild shit that seems to make sense to everyone else around them

Scott Horlbeck @scotthorlbeck

9 months ago

4 11 133 33K 6

1 0 6 2K 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

9 months ago

Incels are all these things. In my experience, they’re also allergic to looking in the mirror & admitting that maybe they’re the problem, maybe they’re annoying, maybe they need to improve themselves in ways that are relevant to the women they hope to attract.

Involuntary Celibate (Incels.is) @IncelsCo

9 months ago

86 253 2K 111K 211

0 2 6 852 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

10 months ago

What those smooth-brained self-satisfied morons seem incapable of grasping is that no one in their right mind ever thought they *hadnt heard enough* from Trump. Nobody was clamoring for Trump interviews b/c he made sure we all knew exactly where he stood on everyone & everything

Brian Stelter @brianstelter

10 months ago

266 63 262 701K 35

Download Image

1 0 3 2K 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

10 months ago

They were stunningly bad. When they were talking about their spend on "pieces of culture" like murals to reach "low information voters of color". You mean *ART* you bloodless nitwits??

Ben Yelin @byelin

10 months ago

They were stunningly bad. When they were talking about their spend on "pieces of culture" like murals to reach "low information voters of color". You mean *ART* you bloodless nitwits??

233 844 21K 2.0M 4K

2 0 4 1K 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

11 months ago

Sam Harris and @elonmusk are no longer friends, but it appears that Sam has borrowed one of Elon’s flamethrowers to absolutely torch the Democratic Party and the American progressive Left. I hope you like your plant-based meat well done, yeesh. open.spotify.com/episode/4SQ6km…

1 0 2 2K 1

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

11 months ago

That this post ends with a quote uttered by one of modern literature’s most terrifying psychopaths should, I hope, produce at least a moment’s pause for those reposting it like it’s the opening verse to some new contrarian, antiestablishment gospel instead of an anodyne appeal to…

JD Vance @JDVance

11 months ago

5K 23K 164K 9.7M 11K

4 1 14 3K 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

11 months ago

Regardless who wins, after this election Dems need to seriously reevaluate their tendency toward bankrupt ‘next-in-line’-ism, while the GOP needs to think about what kind of anti-establishment, Randian ‘burn-it-all-down’-ists they’d be Trojan horsing into this Trump admin.

1 0 8 681 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

a year ago

Its astonishing to me, on a platform w/the smartest people operating on social media, that no one seems to recognize that the rest of this election has nothing to do w/policy & everything to do w/convincing undecideds that ur candidate is the least embarrassing & batshit crazy.

2 0 9 1K 0

Megan McArdle @asymmetricinfo

a year ago

I think we need some quick education for the terminally online in just how unusual they are. If you have a college diploma, you are already unlike most voters. If you spend a lot of time on social media, you are already unlike most voters. If your employer has a workforce of…

90 295 2K 185K 156

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

a year ago

Republicans are telling on themselves all over this platform. They’ve spent the last 4 years taking an absolute dump on Kamala Harris—her intellect, her speaking style, her CV—and now that she’s the presumptive Democratic nominee, instead of high-fiving each other in the street…

3 0 13 2K 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

a year ago

Watching surrogates from the two camps over the next few weeks litigate the meaning and relevance of the fact Trump wasn’t hit by a bullet, but by a shard of Teleprompter glass, will be a true low point.

1 0 5 1K 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

a year ago

If your only familiarity w/the English is watching their fans at international football matches, you’d assume that everyone in that country has either head-butted someone into unconsciousness over a parking spot or a seat at a bar or willfully ignored the fact that either their…

1 0 3 680 0

Nils Parker @NilsAParker

a year ago

I fear the DNC & the #NeverTrump camp has already failed to appreciate how unpersuasive the moniker “convicted felon” is going to be for the portion of the electorate that is on the fence or disengaged because they doubt the fairness & rectitude of the American legal system.