Mick McCarthy @NotMickMcCarthy
I am not Mick McCarthy, sworn enemy of Roy Keane and Olympique Lyon hero. Joined May 2011-
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Following994
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Some days I think she fully deserves the orgasmic obliteration she receives on a sometimes hourly basis.
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She'd just left a link to The Scream by Edward Munch. google.ie/imgres?imgurl=… Wonderful.
She'd written "Like getting ripped open by a fleshy mallet covered in vinegar." Question Two was "Do you enjoy sex with your husband".
Saw an online sex survey the wife was asked to fill out, still open on the computer. Question One was "Describe sex with your husband".
I want a new whore in my office everyday. And I want £500 worth of yoghurt poured on Steve Morgan every game. Only then will I feel welcome.
"Please come back, Mick" "We'll do anything!" Alas, I will not return to my kingdom. Not unless my demands are met by Steve Morgan.
Anyone missing The Mick yet? I can hear your cries from my palace underneath the turf at Molineux.
So if you ever see a huge African lady wandering Wolverhampton with a dazed look on her face & a bloody arsehole, wish her a happy birthday.
And as much as I love her, there's just no way I could keep that up on a regular basis. Once a year on her birthday is all she'll get.
If she finds out I don't have a job, she'll want to spend more time with me, which means more ravaging, devastating, energetic sex.
That said, I'd probably take a job anywhere at the moment. I need some way to keep up the income before the wife gets suspicious.
Michael Essien's good, but he's no Karl Henry to be fair. London wouldn't suit me though, I'm a West Midlands man now.
Am I interested in Chelsea? I wouldn't say no. Players like Stephen Ward and Kevin Foley deserve to strut their stuff on the big stage.
I'm finally awake. That 10-day coma after a night of heavy drinking has done me the world of good.
If any of you want to help, bring a sheep up to St. James' Park and I'll happily slaughter it. We are staying up, that's a promise.
Not many people know this, but the Satanic Sheep ritual is what won Alex Ferguson the 1999 Champions League final. It's a classic tactic.
Everything is in place for the Newcastle game. I've captured a live sheep, sharpened my knife, and learned to read The Bible backwards.
But Steve Morgan will stick by me. Him and me are best friends. We're the Ant and Dec of Wolves FC. That is, if Dec was Ant's boss.
Most of the lads were in tears by the time I stood up to eulogise the Queen of Soul, they weren't in the right frame of mind at all.
Whitney Houston's death may have knocked me off my stride but "Something In The Way" by Nirvana IS NOT an appropriate pump-up song.
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