Olive Fowlec @OliveFowlec
This is the parody account of myself. Joined February 2010-
Tweets253
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Followers51
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Following157
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Likes0
A million feelings, a thousand thoughts, a hundred memories, everything because of one person you love.
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I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night.
Wife: I finally caught you. I could hear it from the other room. You were watching a dirty movie. Me: No. Its just womens tennis.
Since when did remembering names become such a thing? I think I offended dog face girl, again.
Everyone has to pay for their mistakes... except for banks. Banks are apparently exempt from a lot of shit.
Behind every fat girl there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, you're in the way
People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do.
SPOILER ALERT: Unrefrigerated milk goes bad quickly.
*breaks down your front door* I JUST SHAVED MY LEGS FEEL THEM
That joke was funny but i do not like u therefore i will not laugh
WHAT DO WE WANT? If you have to ask, we're not telling you! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? We don't know! -Women's protest rally.
"The best proof of love is trust." - Dr. Joyce Brothers
A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
Love may last for just a moment but memory can make that moment last forever.
If pinochio said "my nose will grow right now" what would happen... think about it. MIND = BLOWN
I'm going to start wearing a whistle around my neck, so I can call penalties on people who piss me off.
My favorite form of lying to myself is choosing a deodorant scent that contains the words 'active' or 'sport' in it's name.
i use sarcasm to mask the fact that i want to fall off the face of the earth
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you're trying to escape?
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