Per Mertesacker @PerMertesacker1
Everyone's favourite lanky Premiership defender. Proving if you can't read the game having blistering pace will cover you in all defensive situations.(Parody) North London Joined January 2012-
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Bastian said the other day his wife never masturbates whilst on her period, but later on I went into his room and I caught her red handed.
Still absolutely fuming with Miroslav, I don't know what's worse.....stealing my goal on my 100th cap or that ridiculous front flip disaster
Liverpool - "Suarez will stay with us." Now I know he did wrong but I think that punishment is a bit extreme. #heartlessbastards
For those counting thats 2 in 2 for North London Derbies. No wonder I'm a fucking club hero #wevegotabigfuckinggerman
When you've been knocking on the door as much as I have been over the last year the goal was bound to come. #wouldliketothankmymumanddad
Jamie isn't a fan of Glenn's analysis....
Chico Flores is out with a dead leg...In Other injury news, Vorm can't play due to a nipple cripple and Michu's doubtful with a Chinese Burn
Most ageing stars go to foreign countries for money. Clearly whilst in Holland Barnet-bound Edgar Davids had too many Space Cakes #saynokids
#ff @Not_EmileHeskey @MarioBaloteLAD @arsene___wenger @arsenes_eyes @itzgaryneville @DB_DavidBeckham @WengerQuotes @RarryHedknapp
#FF @BigJohnTerry @BigFrankLampard @Furious_Fergie @ther_martinez @YayaToure_ @super_9_torres @not_rvp @AndreVillyB @FunnyGooner
Each day a Chelsea full back swears on twitter. I know it's bad but all im thinking is......what's that mentalist Paulo Ferraira gonna say!?
How many more jobs is Ole Gunner Solskjaer going to be linked with!? By 4pm today he will be favourite to be the next leader of the Taliban
After watching MOTD2 I am pleased to see Huth stamping on Suarez, at last a Premier League player is trying to 'Kick Racism Out of Football'
#ff @BigJohnTerry @BigFrankLampard @Furious_Fergie @ther_martinez @YayaToure_ @super_9_torres @not_rvp @AndreVillyB @FunnyGooner
#ff @Not_EmileHeskey @MarioBaloteLAD @arsene___wenger @arsenes_eyes @itzgaryneville @DB_DavidBeckham @WengerQuotes @RarryHedknapp
Got my wife to help me clear the attic today. Old, dusty and full of cobwebs. Still she's great with the kids
Nuri Sahin is married to his own cousin and has a child! He only played Norwich on Saturday, the city must of made a real impression on him
1 - 0 Southampton Ramirez @GarethBale22 "I'll tell ya what, if that Ramirez doesn't win player of the tournament there's no justice"
What on earth have I done to get dropped I will never know, this is a bigger injustice than John Terry's trial......
#ff @Not_EmileHeskey @MarioBaloteLAD @arsene___wenger @arsenes_eyes @itzgaryneville @DB_DavidBeckham @WengerQuotes @RarryHedknapp
Michael @michael50022237
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Dithering Dave @DaveDithering
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Andrew Shafik @aaashafik
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ASHIRAF MESUT KHAN @mesut_khan
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510 Followers 20 Following Can somebody tell me where the job centre is? (Parody)
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10K Followers 160 Following Emile Heskey - International football icon, hero & inspiration. This is a parody account & in no way connected to Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey. #bwfc
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55 Followers 124 Following Hello, I was born in Korea. I am 19 years old, I love football, professional football team Arsenal. Once a gooner Always a gooner
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15K Followers 30 Following Roy Keane reacting to things with quotes... Parody Account | DMs Open | Follow to see Roy Keane reacting to things.
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30 Followers 21 Following Retired footballer, once a sky pundit, until a bird came along and got me demoted to talkSPORT. Now a full time lady killer. I am the boss!
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632 Followers 1K Following Retweeting the funniest Parody Accounts in case you've missed them
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