Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

Your #1 source for all things Pulp. You asked for More… linktr.ee/welovepulp Joined August 2025

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Nick Banks has waged war against the Duolingo Owl. “Mark my words: by the end of 2025, only one of us will be alive.”

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Russell Senior has been banned from the McDonald’s on High St in Sheffield City Centre: “He came in shouting, “Where’s the fruit machines?” over and over”, the Duty Manager said. “I tried to tell him that there’s no fruit machine: this is a McDonald’s. He was inconsolable.”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Jarvis Cocker has spoken out on who he thinks Sophie’s biological father was in Mamma Mia (2008) “I reckon it was probably Bill”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Nick Banks says he has accidentally been using kitchen roll in the bathroom for the last 3 weeks: “I haven’t even noticed a difference, to be honest with you”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Russell Senior has vowed never to try Space Raiders crisps: “The man on the front of the packet once visited me in a dream. He was not a friendly character, let’s just say that.”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Jarvis Cocker has learned what it means to “Split the G”: “I thought it meant folding The Guardian in half so you can carry it under one arm, to be honest”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Jarvis Cocker has spoken out against Feathers McGraw: “He is honestly the face of pure evil, but people give him a pass because he looks harmless. I’ve seen people with tattoos of him and everything. He’s an international criminal and everybody knows it.”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Russell Senior isn’t impressed with the Command strips he used to put up a poster 18 months ago: “It’s pulled off all the bastard paint. I’d have been better off just using Blu-tack.”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Jarvis Cocker doesn’t think a men’s tank top should be nicknamed like that: “It should be called a wife respecter, if anything”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Candida Doyle says it’s quite difficult to keep watching Tom and Jerry when they won’t stop hurting each other: “They love each other, really.”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Jarvis Cocker says he has never been inside a Claire’s: “I just can’t imagine there’s that much in there for me.”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Jarvis Cocker says he doesn’t resonate with any of the main cast of Friends: “I only ever really related to Janice.”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Mark Webber says he doesn’t believe left-handed people need their own special scissors: “No, they’re taking the piss. You can just flip over the normal ones”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Candida Doyle says a really big moth is stopping her from going in her own upstairs bathroom: “It’s going absolutely mental in there”

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Russell Senior says that he has an inside connection at Ferrero Rocher who has told him they will soon get rid of the nut in the middle of the famous chocolates. “It’s just not worth the bother to get it right in the middle of the hazelnut mousse”, he claims.

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4 weeks ago

Nick Banks has spoken out on Jeffree Star’s photoshoot at Wigan North Western train station: “Who?”

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4 weeks ago

“I don’t believe in single-use plastic”, says Pulp’s Mark Webber. “If I get a 24-pack of water from the Aldi, I’ll just fill them back up from the tap and put them back in the fridge. What’s the worst that can happen?”

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4 weeks ago

Jarvis Cocker says the leftover sugar on his countertop has begun to attract ants. “I just couldn’t be bothered brushing it off”, the singer said.

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Pulp Updates @PulpUpdates

4 weeks ago

Candida Doyle has spoken out on Uber drivers who won’t stop talking to you: “Sometimes I just put my headphones in and pretend I’ve got really loud music on, but there’s nothing even playing”