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I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
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My British friend calls it a lift, but I call it an elevator. I guess we were just raised differently.
I told me wife: There's only one thing that scares me during Halloween... My wife: "Which is?" Me: “Exactly”
My geography teacher asked if I could name a country with no “R” in it. I said “No way”
"What are your dogs' names?" Me: "Calvin and Klein." "Isn't that a brand of underwear?" Me: "Exactly, they're boxers."
What you get when you’re a beer and a half deep with the boys on a Friday. ( a little buzz)
Reeve musk @elon_684790
212 Followers 6K Following CEO of Tesla, SpaceX, starlink and owner of Twitter❤️
Rawfu @Rawfu863028
26 Followers 917 Following
Gerhard Hane @GerhardHan50263
71 Followers 1K Following
789DadJokes @789DadJokes
98 Followers 86 Following a group of dads that like dad jokes and the funny quirky days of the year and putting the 2 together. We love good YOKES even if they are CORNY!
Bill Wilson @Willburr0910
0 Followers 7 Following
adj orso @AdjOrso
7 Followers 230 Following
Byron @Bstan311
4 Followers 103 Following
Atomic Bard @AtomicBard11
7 Followers 121 Following
Timothy Emmanuel @MagMal028
1 Followers 56 Following
Patrickungu @Patrick11405425
50 Followers 268 Following https://t.co/0d6F8iiVSA.Student. A born leader.
Nik Khamenia SZN @MikeHoopsPage
5K Followers 6K Following Formerly Kon Knueppel SZN | It’s a game of runs | @RADeMita ‘s future husband
Sarasu @Mysuru3154
52 Followers 512 Following
Candace Glow 🌸 @candaceglow
3K Followers 5K Following Half Greek, 30 something adoring mother of 3, SEN Classroom Assistant,hard-core bookworm, Beatles fanatic and just a little feather-brained...
Mark @onematchleft22
8 Followers 130 Following Former music teacher. Current music lover and overanalyzer
Nathanael Miller @Sparks1524
123 Followers 200 Following Independently-published novelist and blogger. Creator of the Accidental Detective novels. Retired Navy & freelance photojournalist. Go do great things!
manez @manes520
63 Followers 144 Following
G.M @GenMorin355255
1 Followers 27 Following
tennisnut @derekplace
96 Followers 635 Following Dad, tennis nut, golfer, cyclist and failed ninja! Avid Radio 2 & 6 listener. Drinks a lot of tea and likes a gin or 6. Making whiteboards a reality!
John Bonura @JohnBonura31407
2 Followers 44 Following
JD Parker @th35c0rp10n
260 Followers 2K Following Computer Forensic Examiner, Technical Specialist, Sound Engineer, High School Baseball Umpire, High School Football Official
Aric with an A! @WaitWhosThisGuy
23 Followers 40 Following Nobody exists on purpose -- and not even life is permanent. Our only purpose is to spread love, kindness, creativity, and whimsy.
THEREALDUSSE 🍾 @N3XTGENERATIONx
2K Followers 457 Following be water - Bruce lee https://t.co/2wJwuo1lKe
Supercar Blondie @SupercarBl227
37 Followers 369 Following
FlickerFeline @Elijahms2
272 Followers 1K Following Most Popular Online Shopping Sites and Online Stores Product, Trusted Shops, #birds #storks #NaturePhotography #wildlife #WildlifePhotography #Photography
Sothoyt @SothoytKSinqZ
63 Followers 2K Following
Shawn Bird 🇺🇸 @IamShawnBird
284 Followers 406 Following "As he was a bachelor, and in nobody's debt, nobody troubled their head about him anymore." -The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
❤️🔥👸🏼... @DeplorableNag
787 Followers 5K Following Match my energy! Be gentle, be virtuous. #PTSD #ADHD #WARRIOR💙❤️🤍 Texas born, Texas raised! #GoStars #GoRangers #GoCowboys
David @Djy493
20 Followers 246 Following
Nadia Tolstoy @NadiaTolstoy
651 Followers 3K Following Illustrator, cartoonist and children´s book writer. Daily dose of silly insta-humor over @surrealians. Do you enjoy a #funny #pun? If not, better not follow...
Nicholas D. @iCanadaDirect
2K Followers 4K Following iCanada Direct Immigration Services Inc. ``MAKING CANADA YOUR HOME``
Xtinabbygurl @xtinabbygurl
1 Followers 150 Following
🔫TRULYHUMBLEUNDERG... @Its_mrJS
448 Followers 5K Following Ready to take flight @Lakers @LFC @FCBarcelona https://t.co/TSIWSfb6v9
Puggles 3.333 you can... @Anime_Pug
204 Followers 798 Following Backup, He/Him Eco-Socialist with Marxist–Leninist tendencies, Anti-Human
Diana Cheptoo @DianaCheptoo19
4 Followers 49 Following
Cyd Baines @funnyishcyd
790 Followers 3K Following Most jokes from my late husband’s scribbles. If tweets are funny, please consider supporting Swansea City AFC Foundation (link below). 🦢
Josiah Balina @berlin_joz
33 Followers 247 Following
Roaring Kitty @TheRoaringKitty
1.7M Followers 90 Following
Luke Parish @lukep50
4 Followers 16 Following
disgrace @graciebraune
160 Followers 197 Following
P @Petersilcock10
356 Followers 361 Following
Sol Bennett @bennett_sol
296 Followers 254 Following
amirul @_amirulhazmie
378 Followers 366 Following 27 | guitar abuser | frontman of @thisisnemesys @Space_Twang
FR @fikrhmn
1K Followers 733 Following Running, lifting, motorsports, design, and others. Not necessarily in that order. 🇮🇩 Design Lad.
Grota @grota07
2K Followers 724 Following
Connall @FConnall
332 Followers 395 Following
liam @liamc9918
489 Followers 705 Following
Geldy @Liamgelhardt9
566 Followers 316 Following
sky @skydawggg
506 Followers 382 Following
Chantel McLeod @_chantelnicole_
623 Followers 2K Following {Coffee addict} {Foodie} {Music aficionado} {Adventurer} {Traveler} {Constant dreamer} ~We'll all float on~
Mohammed Nalla, CFA @MohammedNalla
10K Followers 2K Following Global Macro, Frmr Head: Research at +$200bn EM fund. Chair: Inst. Asset Mgt @CFAToronto, Founder @magicmarketspod & Macrotech Research 🇨🇦🇿🇦
Sweta @LovelyBone33
70 Followers 299 Following
iCEWIZARDS Computers @iCEWIZARDS
549 Followers 2K Following Cloud #DataBackup SME #ITsupport #LaptopRepairs Smart Phones iPhone iPad Repairs #Cisco VoIP #Cat5e Cat6 #DataCabling #SEO #WebDesign WiFi Security #MediaCityUK
sulfikkar ali @AliChuppy
3 Followers 80 Following
BHR Editing @BHRediting
242 Followers 360 Following ☕️ ~ Freelance Copy Editor & Proofreader ~ ☕️ Copy & Web Editor for @seaskylifestyle & @nomnomtravel, Blogger & Writer, Animal Lover, Bookworm & Geek ✒️✏️
Jens&Pien @JensAndPien
4 Followers 9 Following Jens & Pien 's twitter account about our Youtubechannel
Kento Eyre @keyreplane
52 Followers 99 Following Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6
ariana @BubbleGumBowTie
393 Followers 446 Following But as for me, I would seek God, and to God I would commit my cause— Who does great things, and unsearchable, marvelous things without number. Job 5:8-9
Mike @FrankensteinPhD
274 Followers 526 Following In a life long love/hate relationship with the Denver Broncos
Dea @DeaANNNA
27 Followers 149 Following
✖️ @RavenClagg
171 Followers 550 Following mother trucker doode, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick
Delaney @Delaney_c_mc
338 Followers 727 Following Am I falling into nothingness or flying into something so sublime?
Mary Beth Barrans @angelmb4db
37 Followers 433 Following
Katelyn Schur @katttt_12
294 Followers 1K Following
Tristan Coll @Tyson241
74 Followers 119 Following
STILL HAVE HOPE @Abby_Kaddabby
355 Followers 1K Following Yeah I didnt sign up for this and yet here I am but loving it anywayTrends for United States
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