Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

Loitering with intent... Actor/Comic/Pizzaoligist Been told I'm bewitchingly charming by several liars. Alternately wicked smart & cataclysmically obtuse. youtube.com/channel/UCnxn3… Bakersfield, CA Joined September 2009

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

3 years ago

Adventures in Adult Education: Math Edition... She: I need help with this word problem. Me: Okay, let's hear it. She: "If you have four bananas & five apples in one hand and six bananas & three apples in the other hand, what would you have?" Me: Extremely large hands... She:🤦‍♀️

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

4 years ago

My classroom lectures are a stark portrait in contrast. One moment, my rhetorical skills evoke the soaring eloquence and erudition of Demosthenes, Lincoln, and Churchill. The next moment, I sound like someone whose skull was just bounced off a concrete slab…

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

4 years ago

Many believe I’ve been overly influenced by Oliver Stone; however, I’ve rewatched the video from the Oscars about a hundred times and I’ve noticed that Chris Rock’s head appears to go down and to the right…which proves there was a second slapper. #conspiracy

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

Hmm, apparently this was the first coup in history to utilize orderly queuing... …I suppose that would make it a "Queue d’etat". (…I'll leave quietly)

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

Finally, some positive news...Mac now supports windows! (I'll show myself out...through the window)

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

Hey look, I understand him wanting us all to come together in forgiveness and reconciliation... …but please, he's really got to stop doing this.

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

Really? These are the people the Capitol Police couldn't keep out?? WTF, they look like a high school theatre group... (...in fact, I heard right after this was taken they started performing selected tunes from "Les Misérables")

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

We have now reached a point where we can behold a surreal image such as this and, when filtered through the zeitgeist of this nascent decade, not be the least surprised to learn that it's all too real... …the barbarians are at the gate. #TwentyTwentyOne

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

Streaming November 9 - December 6, 2020 Visit bmtstars.com/tickets/# to get your tickets today! #bmtstars #starsplayhouse

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

Just posted a photo instagram.com/p/CHgskJBHecq/…

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

Looks like massive voter fraud is taking place! Clearly, the deep state is trying to steal this election from Kanye...

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

The most frightening thing I can share this Halloween is this selfie of how I look every morning before my first cup of coffee… #nofilter instagram.com/p/CHBK5bhAF7f/…

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

She: What's the worst advice anyone ever gave you? Me: Oh probably, “Just be yourself”. She: But that's good advice! Me: Excuse me, did you just suddenly forget who you’re talking to? She: 🤦🏻‍♀️

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

She: As much as I hate to admit it, you really carry yourself well. Me: What?? You can’t carry yourself...it’s physically impossible. She: 🤦🏻‍♀️

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Quixotic Kev @QuixoticKev

5 years ago

Me: Siri… Do you think my innate wit, charm, talent, and devastating good looks are ultimately a hindrance? Siri: You’re not Kevin. Who are you? Did that idiot lose his phone again?? #siriously