Shitty Science @Shitty_Science_
Joined January 2015-
Tweets25
-
Followers78
-
Following777
-
Likes1
Ladies, are you tired of having periods all the time? Just have sex without a condom, and you'll be period-free for 9 months!
Looking to lose some weight? Buy 30 bags of potato chips and set them on fire. Before you know it, you'll have burned 18,000 calories.
Want to burn your CDs quickly? Just put them in your toaster, and they'll be burned in no time.
If we cut the world food supply in half (50% decrease) Then put that half back (100% increase), we can have 150% food!
Why is there soap in the ocean???
If eating fat makes fat people get fatter, they should eat skin so they get skinnier.
Want to go forward in time? Consume one 5 Hour Energy every four hours. That extra hour of energy will propel you one hour into the future.
Want to shed some weight? Since calories are measured as a unit of heat, simply eat a large amount of ice cream to freeze those calories.
Want to have shoes that tie themselves? Simply replace your shoelaces with two pairs of Apple earbuds, and voila! Self tying shoelaces!
How to store 8GB of electricity #genius
Humans are 98% chimpanzee, and 25% of astronauts are chimps. Therefore, astronauts are 123% chimpanzee.
Is your house on fire? Don't panic, just take a bunch of Advil and wait for the inflammation to die down.
Want to have free WiFi at school? Look for water fountains with the WiFi symbol, and connect to the water fountain!
Want to produce pure caffeine? Make a pot of coffee, then use that coffee instead of water to make another pot of coffee. Repeat until pure.
If Isaac Newton is the man behind Gravity, why isn't he listed in the credits?
Want to be protected from any explosion? Wrap yourself in lasagna, since the center of any lasagna never heats up.
If Olive Garden has unlimited breadsticks, why haven't they taken steps towards solving world hunger?
Want to fly? Follow these 4 easy steps:
If you pretend to shake salt in your mouth, you will taste salt. Don't believe me? Try it.
Want to go to the moon, but don't have the time or money? Problem solved with these simple steps:
Elsie @joneselsie26
246 Followers 3K Following
Lexi-rose Cox @LexiroseCo19728
80 Followers 5K Following
Deborah Babadele @deborah58871509
268 Followers 2K Following The lord is my sheepherd, i shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he me beside me quite waters, he restores my soul. He guide. M
Matt Hagan @matthagan45
29 Followers 47 Following
Sofa Face @Sofa_Face
48 Followers 592 Following If you like to have lots of pun, we are here for you.
sargon @sargonasadorian
151 Followers 178 Following
michael gilbert @falcontide11
29 Followers 532 Following
Joshua Walters @joshua335t
20 Followers 176 Following
Thomas McDermott @tom_mcdermott18
58 Followers 84 Following
Colm Doyle @colmdoyle9
138 Followers 265 Following
Nick Harris @nicksbadwords
178 Followers 558 Following
Ben Closson @aeb811c8073c473
46 Followers 126 Following
Mary Grace @marythompson364
94 Followers 140 Following
Sadge Hughes @sadge_hughes
18 Followers 89 Following
Vanessa Louvet @VanessaLouvet
0 Followers 173 Following live. love.... life? or some bullshit like that. Lol
Xbkgltiznh @xbkgltiznh
45 Followers 486 Following ATBASH Ru blfi ivzwrmt gsrh, blfi zxgfzoob kivggb hnzig. Mld hsll
Zachary @bigz55011
52 Followers 1K Following
Heartland GS Rescue @HUGSgsrescue
46 Followers 239 Following HUGS is a Nebraska licensed, all-volunteer, non-profit dog rescue organization est May '15. Instagram: @heartlandgsrescue FB: http://t.co/mbYnqw2mQ5…
Mike Solohubovskyy @solohubovskyy
54 Followers 375 Following
Leanne Hillery @LeanneHillerycI
7K Followers 7K Following your tweets are actually cracking me up! Ahaaaa I can't handle it xxjadexx
maurahhhhhh @ZieglerOO22
320 Followers 464 Following
King 5lime @5limelord
306 Followers 792 Following GANG!!! 1⃣7⃣0⃣1⃣ #BrownFlag #RedFlag Ballislife OnlyTheWood P.Joe world Murda Gang!!!
Lucas Jansen @lodewijk95
48 Followers 60 Following Engineer by day, more tired engineer by night. Enjoy sleeping, making stuff and reciting random Biggie Smalls lyrics. I have one chest hair
Dana Duque @Cherry8Dana
25 Followers 201 Following
DBZ @DBZSuper__
4K Followers 3K Following Turn My Notifications On ⠀⠀⠀⠀名誉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀献身⠀⠀⠀
Kendra Raymer @kendraraymer
540 Followers 329 Following I❤️my👱🏼👧🏼👶🏼🐶 | KC Stylist ✂️ beauty & lifestyle blogger
Karla @KarlaMarieC
35 Followers 132 Following
Miriam Swartz @miriam_leah18
403 Followers 893 Following KC born and & raised. @lafcol. @maxwellSU MPA. 15+87=6. She/her/hers
G-Eazy @ggg_eazyyy
6 Followers 79 Following
iris @irispupileye
4 Followers 88 Following
Jennifer @JennifersReal
2K Followers 2K Following Shalom.. blessed & awakened.. praise Ahayah in the name of Yashaya & cherish time with family & friends & prepare for our King #AhayahbahashamYashayawaRawack
michoumayer @michoumayer
298 Followers 1K Following
Fabiola @fabi12626626
25 Followers 102 Following
TraceyJeanne: Party (... @TraceyJeanne_
11K Followers 9K Following I only care about 3 things: astrophysics, my chemical romance, and my daughter ••• (yes my name is a play on @frankiero ‘s twt name)
tameika allen @tameika_allen
58K Followers 53K Following hey hun follow me and I'll follow you back ;)
Аnna @Anuchka__
218 Followers 218 Following "Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni."
LovePeace @WhoIsUrbane
7K Followers 4K Following Nigerian American Artist/MC 🇳🇬🇺🇸 New EP: It’s Been A While now available on Apple Music | Spotify | iTunes | SoundCloud Booking Email: [email protected]
Science Tracker @sciencetracker2
20K Followers 117 Following recent and cool scientific news. Health and tech news. run by Stanford Scientists
Du₿₿le-OO James B... @therealdubbleOO
23K Followers 5K Following Official X of DubbleOO💻🛜MacroInvestor(CapturingAlpha) 🔴PILL🇺🇸 $PTRUMP $pepe (Btc2015)(ETH2018) Truth serum “R33L fr 🐸 g” gm fren 🕳️🐇
Containermanufakteur @larsrenej
37K Followers 23K Following Human 💀 | Husband 👩❤️👨 | Dad 👦👦 | Dog Dad 🐶 📈 | Custom Container Manufakteur 🗃️ | Thalassophile ⛵️ | Angel Investor 💶 | Mentor 🧠
Chris Kuijper @kajyper
89 Followers 194 Following If you stay focused and true to yourself, then whatever is going on around you won't mean shit. -Marshawn Lynch---Sweat equity
Sophia Van Elsberg @sophiavanelsber
295 Followers 221 Following
KristofferHenningsen @khenningsen15
63 Followers 180 Following
aimee @_kushkitten
219 Followers 367 Following
Daquan @YaBoiiDaquan
126 Followers 843 Following They call me Daquan and you can find me in yo baes dms
Katie Evans @katiemylady66
21 Followers 36 Following I feel the dramatic process is beginning to break down
Dying & Living @DynLvn
20 Followers 213 Following Solo artist. EDM/punkpop hybrid. Influences of dubstep, trance, hardcore, trap, metal, indie rock, Synthpop, chillstep, emo-pop, as well as r&b.
Garret Kelley @garretkelley88
53 Followers 126 Following you already know sober and strong is better than rippin a bong
ky @schmieds_k
324 Followers 191 Following
Anne-Marie Brownlow @anniebrownlow
112 Followers 95 Following
Jaide Hagen @jaidehagen
412 Followers 106 Following
Logan Gilbert Fan Clu... @Just_dessertz17
220 Followers 381 Following I like when the Mariners win baseball games go cougs go hawks. 5/9/22
J∆Ck HVLL @Jackahall_
66 Followers 66 Following The sky's the limit that's what they told a fuckin fool
Katia Whitney @katiawhitneyy
309 Followers 232 Following
Christiana @lil_sully4
647 Followers 383 Following have that wake up 'n make shit happen type of vibe
Trends for United States
You might like
