Rick A. @SlipperyRick

“I look so good in my new glasses. The problem is I can’t see myself.” Jen on her iPad using dollar store readers.

“Do you swipe left or right on people you like on Tinder?” Jen, casually using her iPad on the bed on Saturday afternoon. #jenthoughts

Follow up: the tongue shrunk back down. #jenthoughts

“In the last week my tongue has grown too big for my mouth. That’s a thing right?” #jenthoughts

”I like to pause for reflection on my dentist days. Like, what happened in the last six months… will I still be alive for my next appointment in February… I might be an over thinker…” - Jen, back from a simple tooth cleaning #jenthoughts

Never imagined I would spend nearly half my life in school to end up at a point where I’m writing a newsletter for millionaire condo owners formalizing what not to flush down a toilet. I’m just going to watch this small fire I made out of my diplomas burn for a few minutes.

Telling Miles about something I told to “Grandpa Ted”. He looks at me funny and asks me “who’s God Potato?” Dead serious. I’m dying. #milesthoughts

“Bennett this is the decade you start wearing underwear!” Jen, to Bennett regarding the end of going cowboy for nearly 10 months #freeballin

“I need a piece of quiet!!” Miles, loudly to the noisy full car. #changeapproved

“Raccoons walk like rainbows on roller skates… it’s true. Should I be a writer?” #jenthoughts

Jedi Name Generator: Miles = Lumas Fisto Bennett = Rein Etina Ruby = Rune Trebor Me = Ki-Adi Galia the Corellian (like a boss) Stanley = Taunwe Othone Jen = Rein Juhani #jedi

Carol Festival intermission… MC: You guys having fun tonight! 80 kids: YESSSSS!! Miles, after 3 second delay: No!!! (laughs) MC: What? Why? (Gives Miles microphone) Miles, amplified to crowd: Cause it’s boring standing up here! Us: 😂 🤦‍♂️

Bennett farted so loudly during the Rotary Carol Festival that it scared the band. #gripitandripit #rootytooty

“If I had a twin I’d be gay for her too” Jen, discussing the Property Brothers show. #jenthoughts

Canada is like if Europe and America had a super polite baby that liked to shovel snow. #canada

Are you keeping those tweets for legal reasons? Like if you kill me or something? #jenthoughts

Watching Netflix trailers… Jen: “Ugly Delicious”?!? That’s like that birthday cake I just went at. #jenthoughts

Bennett: I’d rather have tires than feet. Me: That’s ridiculous! So impractical! B: How? M: How would you go swimming? B: With my tires. M: What are you talking about? How would you climb on rocks? B: With. My. Tires. M: …

“From now on only buy me things that look expensive. They don’t have to really be expensive, just look expensive.” #jenthoughts