The Drunk Jake @TheDrunkJake
howdy | alt: @notthedrunkjake Texas, USA Joined October 2011-
Tweets37K
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Followers10K
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Following8K
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Likes181K
laugh now but when the voting age drops to 10 years old he is going to hold the majority vote
fun little fact for all the swifties out there
“you couldn’t make Seinfeld today” yeah because it fucking sucks, wouldn’t have lasted two seasons
“you couldn’t make Seinfeld today” yeah because it fucking sucks, wouldn’t have lasted two seasons
it’s crazy that y’all got to see two rare events in one month, a solar eclipse AND me actually working on a monday morning
this is the most country thing I’ve ever seen come out of Nashville
this is the most country thing I’ve ever seen come out of Nashville
my ten year old self would never have imagined seeing a video worse than a cartel member beheading someone but here we are
my ten year old self would never have imagined seeing a video worse than a cartel member beheading someone but here we are
still don’t get how an “expat” is different from an immigrant
What an incredibly unique millennial experience lol ruining the family computer and acting like you have no clue how it happened
What an incredibly unique millennial experience lol ruining the family computer and acting like you have no clue how it happened
Me at McDonald’s, age 4
I woke up at 5 am this morning, not because my alarm but because in my dream I power washed a hornets nest and one of those killer hornets came right for my face and stung me between the eyes
I love muting my own tweets because I just saw this went viral and it’s a bunch of incels quote tweeting it trying to make fun of me like two weeks ago lmao
I love muting my own tweets because I just saw this went viral and it’s a bunch of incels quote tweeting it trying to make fun of me like two weeks ago lmao
cash it on pick 32 🫡
this dude made enough money to live his dream of living in the woods all by himself
Cows. We want highland cows.
Cows. We want highland cows.
no honey i would never bet the over on 6.5 receivers taken in the first round tonight in the nfl draft
For me it usually takes about 13 shots of vodka
kelly @BoyYeetsWorld
31K Followers 2K Following I used to live in South Carolina but now I don’t | extremely successful and wealthy personthicc saban @yngjcb
7K Followers 2K Following my name jacob. handle is a college football pun. acab. free palestine. he/him 18+sarah˚ ༘♡ ⋆。.. @babooshke
21K Followers 494 Following extremely profound very insightful 🧸🌟🎀 https://t.co/GztRgHXGLffrank @secret_frank_
5K Followers 2K Followinghootie playoff editio.. @hootietheeowl
9K Followers 998 Following latina bonne vivante. bucks in 6. free 🇵🇸Matthew @chillwaveguy
12K Followers 5K Following Chungking Express is a 1994 Hong Kong romantic crime comedy-drama anthology film written and directed by Wong Kar-wai.𝐵𝓇𝒾𝒜𝓃�.. @brihindthescene
12K Followers 2K Following God gives his toughest battles (being single) to his strongest soldiers (me) •she/her•˗ˋˏ*̣̩⋆̩ 𝚍.. @FrickinDelanie
24K Followers 720 Following professional butt-sitter and good time enthusiast 🫧 mutuals: @onlinesufferingRayChal @rachelslathar
34K Followers 7K Following Aspiring Trophy Wife™. I make wild rags & bad jokes. Viewer’s discretion is advised. Owner of @DaisyIfYouDoCo1 - 1 Corinthians 10:31Huff @ThaMagicDragon
2K Followers 575 Following Probably late and definitely hungover | dirty commie bastard | he/him/σ♂Saddington 3 (in prod.. @2Saddington
17K Followers 2K Following If you’re reading this, watch Paddington 2 • she/her •blake @jalapeno_pants
1K Followers 644 Following I’m literally way down yonder on the chattahoochee || he/himHouse ⚔️ gf haver @mrmatthouse
3K Followers 1K Following packaged in a facility that processes tree nuts and dairy, contents may contain warhammer or bad tweetsImagine Dragons Hate .. @_21Average_
9K Followers 2K Following you’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?BRYCEWOLLMANN!!! @TheBigAndSexy70
7K Followers 3K Following Unofficial Mayor of Sioux Falls | As Featured in The Washington Post |@connerdeboer is cool and nice and smart and pretty307CHIEF @sKwafo44
1K Followers 2K Following Chiefs connoisseur. Husband and father. The tireless anchor keeping the mountain time zone honest in regards to a superior football team!! #chiefsVenessa @malikatuker
554 Followers 3K FollowingKaitie @_kaiokenx100_
499 Followers 3K Followingannie @anniiikkkkaaa
413 Followers 113 FollowingJanet @janetprettyy
58 Followers 104 Following God love me, God bless America 🇺🇸 football lover, Tennis’s and I love to sake professional I love to travel and visit more countries, am a fashionistaVinciblePeter @VinciblePeter
564 Followers 5K Followingbug girl @medusasgemss
10K Followers 9K Following 𓇢𓆸 i love fantasy, renaissance art, bugs and flora so i make jewelry reminiscent of them :) check out my shop or else 𓅣🤍 🪲 𓆈 𓆉 ig: medusasgemssNashy @Nashy4472221424
4 Followers 106 Followingcourt @judgeofthecourt
1K Followers 1K Following lovely to sit between comfort and chaos // aries // book, music, & film loverEvan Hughes @evan_hug__s
2K Followers 1K FollowingRichard Griffin @Richard99631990
483 Followers 2K FollowingRob Perez @WorldWideWob
1.2M Followers 1.3M Following Late Night with Wob - NBA Postgame Show, exclusively on @SiriusXMNBA ||||| @SorareNBA ||||| @SkyWobAlertspublic j✨ @publicprincessj
16 Followers 60 FollowingJimmie @Jimmie504875547
5 Followers 26 FollowingVegan Apes 🌱 @VeganApes
340 Followers 4K Following Bringing plant power to the metaverse with 269 Vegan Ape NFTs! Sales and $eth tips will fund our online campaigns for a kinder world. Join us! 🌱💪 💚Rose Florence @FlorenceRo3706
77 Followers 1K Following ”Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”Owen Williams @OwenWilliams098
113 Followers 1K Following Lifestyle | Travel | Gratitude 🙏 🕺Enjoying life's party 🎉 ✈️# World # traveller 🧳 The best things come from living outside of your comfort zone🌎nika (a frog in a coc.. @sacralmatriarch
1K Followers 929 Following kazoo god of the contiguous united states. texas exSeb Lin @SebLin10
499 Followers 3K FollowingLi-yah @mountvalla2
1K Followers 4K Following Rihanna, The Weeknd, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, BTS, Melanie Martinez.gabb @BaseballGabb
11K Followers 9K Following unhinged baseball shit posting & girl stuff #fortheland🧚🏼♀️ @ayfayer
0 Followers 34 FollowingPaul Vato Presents: @PaulVato
18K Followers 14K Following Actor 🎥 Improvisor 🎭 Author 🎙 Podcaster ♦️♠️ Poker Player ❤️ ♣️ Cigar Aficionado 💨 LA, LV & Chi • https://t.co/8AI6CrBrEQ • https://t.co/Qhbk08nePv • https://t.co/Gkr5sboEcUvisualtrends @visualtren11292
5 Followers 203 Following DROPSHIPPER, AFFILIATE MARKETER, CRYPTOCURRENCY, MONEY IS THE PRIZE♏🇳🇬✝️☪️Cirilla stephanie ❤.. @CarsonChar38676
43 Followers 51 Following i have something delicious 😋😂😂❤️ please follow my new account fans 🥰❤️💎❤️Ian Hartitz @Ihartitz
165K Followers 1K Following @MBFantasyLife | President of the Cordarrelle Patterson fan club | In Drew Lock we trust | Great day to be great | The Fantasy Life Podcast🩵m @megdicenso
374 Followers 240 Following𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔢 🇵.. @floatawaywitme
412 Followers 282 Following 𝚂𝚑𝚎/𝚑𝚎𝚛/𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢/𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 ✨ 𝙿𝚊𝚗🌈 𝙲𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚖🐱 𝚇𝚅𝚇🌱 𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆🔞 🆂🆃🆁🅸🅲🆃🅻🆈 🅽🅾 🅼🅸🅽🅾🆁🆂Cassandra Reads (& Wr.. @Criticalautist
113 Followers 283 Following I am many things but will no longer be Sisyphus. - 2023. Book reviewer, blogger, practitioner of mad poetics. Occasional strategic content marketing consultant.Carlos Freeman @carlos_fre43097
0 Followers 4 Followingbırakın rahat @bitivit_x
161 Followers 258 Followingkelly @BoyYeetsWorld
31K Followers 2K Following I used to live in South Carolina but now I don’t | extremely successful and wealthy personthicc saban @yngjcb
7K Followers 2K Following my name jacob. handle is a college football pun. acab. free palestine. he/him 18+sarah˚ ༘♡ ⋆。.. @babooshke
21K Followers 494 Following extremely profound very insightful 🧸🌟🎀 https://t.co/GztRgHXGLffrank @secret_frank_
5K Followers 2K Followinghootie playoff editio.. @hootietheeowl
9K Followers 998 Following latina bonne vivante. bucks in 6. free 🇵🇸Matthew @chillwaveguy
12K Followers 5K Following Chungking Express is a 1994 Hong Kong romantic crime comedy-drama anthology film written and directed by Wong Kar-wai.𝐵𝓇𝒾𝒜𝓃�.. @brihindthescene
12K Followers 2K Following God gives his toughest battles (being single) to his strongest soldiers (me) •she/her•˗ˋˏ*̣̩⋆̩ 𝚍.. @FrickinDelanie
24K Followers 720 Following professional butt-sitter and good time enthusiast 🫧 mutuals: @onlinesufferingRayChal @rachelslathar
34K Followers 7K Following Aspiring Trophy Wife™. I make wild rags & bad jokes. Viewer’s discretion is advised. Owner of @DaisyIfYouDoCo1 - 1 Corinthians 10:31Huff @ThaMagicDragon
2K Followers 575 Following Probably late and definitely hungover | dirty commie bastard | he/him/σ♂Saddington 3 (in prod.. @2Saddington
17K Followers 2K Following If you’re reading this, watch Paddington 2 • she/her •blake @jalapeno_pants
1K Followers 644 Following I’m literally way down yonder on the chattahoochee || he/himHouse ⚔️ gf haver @mrmatthouse
3K Followers 1K Following packaged in a facility that processes tree nuts and dairy, contents may contain warhammer or bad tweetsImagine Dragons Hate .. @_21Average_
9K Followers 2K Following you’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?BRYCEWOLLMANN!!! @TheBigAndSexy70
7K Followers 3K Following Unofficial Mayor of Sioux Falls | As Featured in The Washington Post |@connerdeboer is cool and nice and smart and prettycooterdoodle @cooterdoodle
18K Followers 2K Following a lady in the streets but cocky in the tweets. @mbfantasylife staff writer | i hit a hole in one in 2012 and no one is talking about itKaitie @_kaiokenx100_
499 Followers 3K Followingannie @anniiikkkkaaa
413 Followers 113 Followingbug girl @medusasgemss
10K Followers 9K Following 𓇢𓆸 i love fantasy, renaissance art, bugs and flora so i make jewelry reminiscent of them :) check out my shop or else 𓅣🤍 🪲 𓆈 𓆉 ig: medusasgemsspublic j✨ @publicprincessj
16 Followers 60 Followingcourt @judgeofthecourt
1K Followers 1K Following lovely to sit between comfort and chaos // aries // book, music, & film loverEvan Hughes @evan_hug__s
2K Followers 1K Followingmadison @xgigglypuff
29K Followers 2K Following harvard graduate | streamer & cosplayer @twitch | software engineer | https://t.co/n5jEZU0fYU | #BlackLivesMatter | she/herRob Perez @WorldWideWob
1.2M Followers 1.3M Following Late Night with Wob - NBA Postgame Show, exclusively on @SiriusXMNBA ||||| @SorareNBA ||||| @SkyWobAlertsmanda @whichxwitch
1K Followers 387 Following she/her. chihuahua enthusiast. hayley williams once said she wished she was menika (a frog in a coc.. @sacralmatriarch
1K Followers 929 Following kazoo god of the contiguous united states. texas exPaul Vato Presents: @PaulVato
18K Followers 14K Following Actor 🎥 Improvisor 🎭 Author 🎙 Podcaster ♦️♠️ Poker Player ❤️ ♣️ Cigar Aficionado 💨 LA, LV & Chi • https://t.co/8AI6CrBrEQ • https://t.co/Qhbk08nePv • https://t.co/Gkr5sboEcULi-yah @mountvalla2
1K Followers 4K Following Rihanna, The Weeknd, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, BTS, Melanie Martinez.Ian Hartitz @Ihartitz
165K Followers 1K Following @MBFantasyLife | President of the Cordarrelle Patterson fan club | In Drew Lock we trust | Great day to be great | The Fantasy Life Podcast𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔢 🇵.. @floatawaywitme
412 Followers 282 Following 𝚂𝚑𝚎/𝚑𝚎𝚛/𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢/𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 ✨ 𝙿𝚊𝚗🌈 𝙲𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚖🐱 𝚇𝚅𝚇🌱 𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆🔞 🆂🆃🆁🅸🅲🆃🅻🆈 🅽🅾 🅼🅸🅽🅾🆁🆂frecklicious @gingerific17
72 Followers 649 Following Travel Nurse, forever on the move. Embracing the life motto of “fuck around and find out”Hera @Oncofonco
68 Followers 729 Following Her, over there. Too old to die young. The universe never forgets and the North always remembers. #BidenHarris2024possum qween 🪷 @possumqween
236 Followers 360 Following this is not my beautiful mouse! these are not my beautiful mice!Melody BSN RN @MelodyBSN
213 Followers 388 Following Single mama. 32. EFDA. BSNGraduate. Peds RN. Aspiring Pediatric Hem/Oncocolgy Nurse Practitioner. 👩🏽⚕️🧬💉🩺 She/Her. Si se puede.Ms_Mayhem @mayhem_marcy
1K Followers 4K Following I’m true blue 💙🌊through and through.. NO MAGA’S NO DM’S PLEASEmanders🦎 🔜 EDCL.. @salamanders_
2K Followers 946 Following ✨🩵🌿🪬📸🍃👽🦎 • 𖤓Taurus𖤓 ☾Aries☾ ↟Leo↟ • Artist/Photographer • LA Film School • Slander stan account🪬*𓇚•꧁♡꧂.. @4444angelxo
2K Followers 5K Following 🪷🫧🧚♀️👑⚜️she/her • 24 • adhd⚜️🦋💫😇 • tropical: ☼ ♍︎ • ☾ ♊︎ •⇡♊︎ / sidereal: ☼ ♌︎ • ☾♉︎ •⇡♊︎Kat (Kat's Version? S.. @KaptainKatterum
141 Followers 432 Following IT'S THE RAPTURE! GET BART OUT OF THE HOUSE BEFORE GOD COMES!Dark Sided Futa Fanta.. @crazysexy_c00l
340 Followers 681 Following 💫 Fred Hampton says JOIN your Local Community Organizations! 💫Kitana🌸 @waifu2cute4uu
2K Followers 69 Following ˚。⋆୨୧˚ur filipina hentai waifu˚୨♡୧˚ I reply only on OF 💗 follow my main @waifu2cute4u 💗b♡ @brookefaeley
2K Followers 371 Following midwest princess {26 nsfw 18+} ˚✩。˚♡✧ $5 dm fee for non moots ˚✩˚But what about airline food?????
Jerry Seinfeld: PC culture and fear of offending people is killing funny shows. "When you write a script and it goes into four or five different hands, committee, groups—'here's our thought about this joke'—well that's the end of your comedy."
drinking a moscow mule in the sun looking at windmills… the life fr
Dudes getting so mad abt being wrong that they resort to sexism and calling women ugly,, lights on no one home
I’m going on a dinner date with a 6’3 weed & strawberry farmer tomorrow is this real life??
being a lover girl but not being the center of anyone’s world to love, god hates me
HOW IS HE SO SMALL WHO THE FUCK LET HIM BE SO SMALL
people staring at me in disbelief when i share bits & pieces of my lore is always funny. i take pride in not wearing all that on my sleeve. ain’t SHIT you can’t come back from in life & i’m living proof!!!!
I just bought a new lawnmower and I'm excited to try it out! .... I've become my father
Water for real one of my best friends in this whole wide world. On god type shit 😫🙏🏼💯
here’s an idea- y’all fund my OZARKS trip & in return I’ll post cute little bikini pics w/ my friends. (This is a joke… unless 👀)
The most unrealistic thing about The Sopranos is that her name is “Meadow.” No way in hell Tony and Carmella had a baby girl in 1982 in New Jersey and didn’t name her Gianna Marie.
oh he’s BROKE broke
Y'all weren't ready for this drop? I've decided to bring Kitara out of the closet after 18 years!🤣🤣🤣 for a limited time & with 20% of the proceeds going to @Tunnel2Towers & @TheFellowship Book your Kitara @BookCameo on the link below!💅 👇 cameo.com/kitararavache/…
I’m dead today but we finished yesterday strong 🤘🏻 #stagecoach2024
im going to k-ll this guy
@TheDrunkJake This is awesome! But also…what is it haha?