Toddler in Chief @ToddlerinChief
I'm in charge. Mine. Joined December 2016-
Tweets784
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Followers1K
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Following35
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Likes68
Just popping in to announce my candidid…candydas… candy-ass-ity.
Once and for all: how am I really supposed to know what was hidden between the Paw Patrol coloring page and the kindergarten lunch menu (covered in ketchup, by the way) in that stack of papers? I just been cutting snowflakes out of them lol
Wondering what the note said? “Something in the upstairs bathroom was in the toilet. It was the—HAHAHAHAHAHAJHA!!!11!”
So far I dumped the slushie machine and cleared out the pool with a ‘lil accident in my swimmers, so things here in Mara-Loogie-Doo are going great!
Mom says we’re going out to Chuck E Cheese, but she’s packed up all my stuffies and my potty chairs into big boxes. Hmmm 🤔
And watch me step on every single one of them
And watch me step on every single one of them
But MoOoOOoOoomMm, I can’t find my shoes. Or my coat.
Obviously the next attempted insurrection will be conceived entirely as a MyPillow fight.
Nobody can say they were impeached twice, except me. I’m the best at being impeached. Just ask anyone. Just say, hey, who’s the best impeached-twice president, and everyone will say me. It’s no contest.
I’m screaming and crying but NO ONE NOTICES! I even moved out into the living room and threw myself onto the ground and sobbed right in front of everyone, and everyone still ignores me! It’s like no one can hear me, or worse, no one cares! Sad!
Is MySpace still a thing? Asking for a friend.
You guys I’ve said this before, I don’t even like peaches, so don’t even try.
You can’t really remove someone who isn’t really present anyway, right? 👏
You beautiful, special people whom I love very much, please go home (snicker) and stop burning the place down (kidding). BTW, my candy was stolen, I didn’t eat it I swear. I want it back. So peacefully (yeah right) do what you have to do.
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@ToddlerinChief Yes honey, you were certainly # 1 at CPAC the other night. But you didn't seem that happy. Maybe if they played Hail to the Chief? Didn't you like your special statue, all goldy & flaggy?😟
@ToddlerinChief Now you must buy your own suckers. The U.S. taxpayers have bought more than enough...and a bunch of Big Macs and fries too!
@ToddlerinChief No coup for you today. Or cups either. There's one coop left but I don't think you would like it in there with the chicken feathers & bird lice...
@ToddlerinChief Oh don't be such a drama queen! You should be going around peeing in secret places so when Big Joey comes in it will stink real bad and then he will go BOO HOO HOO
@ToddlerinChief Hint: If you put your hands over your eyes nobody can see you! Then they can't remove you. Ha ha!
Just because I want to do my best to help keep #DiaperDon trending at #1 all day if possible. #TrumpTantrum What say you @ToddlerinChief? Best Xmas present ever. He'll need something because he can't take the Resolute Desk with him.
ACCORDING TO OANN AND NEWSMAX JOE BIDEN HAS JUST CONCEDED!!! TREMENDOUS WIN 4 TRUMP!
@ToddlerinChief & I'm the Hulk...
@DonaldJTrumpJr No, but I remember when your #loser dad (or is that #sucker) claimed an unpresidented landslide victory when he won on slimmer margins. #HRC graciously conceded *the following day*! Never claimed there was fraud. The @ToddlerinChief should be done with his tantrum by now.
@ToddlerinChief *stomps foot* shouts, YOURE NOT MY REAL ELECTION!
It's all over but the crying. Another @ToddlerinChief tantrum coming up. Most of the outstanding count is in Dem-dominated Pima and Maricopa.
Arizona is FAR from over for President Donald J. Trump.
@realDonaldTrump Do you even pay attention to what you say? Or is “blather” your go to language? @ToddlerinChief
@Out5p0ken @realDonaldTrump He's pissed because Twitter suspended his account yesterday, forcing him to delete a tweet. @ToddlerinChief isn't used to having his toys taken away.
@PreetBharara This is why he was named @ToddlerinChief toddlerinchief by Professor Drezner of Tufts University. His book "The Toddler In Chief" clearly shows is increasingly toddler behavior. I guess we all come in wearing diapers and @realDonaldTrump hasn't taken his off. 😏
#BabyGate First stop in Maine.
Ah, so that's the #babygate trend. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Looks like #BunkerBoy is filling the ether with #selfpwn shots in both feet. Yay, @ToddlerinChief!
Calling the fence around the White House a #babygate is one of my favorite Twitter moments of this hellhole of a year. Just...thank you.
So true! You rock, @niczapko! #asl #SignLanguage @GovTimWalz
Internet agrees: Tim Walz's sign language interpreter kicks so much ass citypages.com/news/internet-…
To think, we thought Randy was the crazy one. A bunch of 5 year-olds swarming the soccer ball are "involved." Doesn't make them any good. Just like @ToddlerinChief. #WorstPresidentEver
Dennis Quaid praises Trump handling of coronavirus response: “We see him on television every day, he’s involved" hill.cm/TTwuEBy
@ToddlerinChief Why doesn't he get it. Pay backs are hell. The world is crashing down around him. You reap what you sow. This is one giant mess ( that could have been alot less of a mess) and he's still being an ass. He needs to get out of there and let people do their jobs.
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