Darth Vader @VaderAtHome
I was a successful Sith Lord until I found out I had kids. Now I'm a stay-at-home single Darth trying to make it through the day. Contact: [email protected] facebook.com/VaderAtHome Far, far away... Joined July 2012-
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Followers6K
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Following10
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I sense a disturbance in the Pillow Fort, a presence I have not felt since breakfast... LEIA!
Leia, I'm not angry you want to date a scruffy looking Nerf herder like Han Solo, just disappointed. Okay, I'm a TEENY bit angry.
Yes Leia, you can be a Jedi when you grow up. No Luke, you can't be a Princess. Because. Well sometimes life's not fair.
Obi-Wan never told you about your father, did he? No, I AM your father! Seriously, check the birth certificate, I have it right here.
No, we're not going to McDonalds. Do, or do not eat what's on your plate. There is no cry.
Don't act like you can't hear me through those giant hair buns when I'm talking to you, young lady!
Kids? Daddy's cape is stuck in the escalator again. Little help, please?
What do you mean, "Does it play any games?" It's a LIGHTSABER. When I was your age I would have killed for one. Literally.
Heart attack! Saw Luke's clothes in a pile on the floor and thought he'd become one with the Force. He was just in the shower.
I upgraded my suit to iOS 6 and now I can't stop doing "the Robot", or find the kitchen.
Luke, buddy, maybe not a GREAT call to jump out and yell, "BOO!" at somebody with Post-Traumatic Stress disorder and a lightsaber.
Kids, you know how I have no arms or legs and burns to 85% of my body? That's because I didn't eat my vegetables either.
What do you do all day on that computer anyway? Why can't you just go in high speed, life endangering pod races like a normal kid?
Best thing about me: I can use the Force to do some great "Look, no hands!" tricks for the kids. Worst: I have no hands. Thanks, Obi-Wan.
No Leia, it is NOT OKAY to replace the Imperial March with One Direction songs as daddy's entrance music on his chest iPod.
Oooh, ghost Obi-Wan told you to blow it up, did he, Luke? And I guess if he told you to jump off a cliff you'd do that too?
I've had my profile up on Match.com for over a month now. I find my lack of dates... disturbing. #ForeverAlone
Leia, honey, you weren't trying to steal the plans to daddy's top secret battle station again, were you? TIME OUT, YOUNG LADY!
Now kids, you KNOW daddy's asthma and heavy breathing condition make it hard for him to play Hide and Seek.
I used to be angry at Obi-Wan for cutting off my legs but now I'm immune to stepping on Luke's LEGO, so I guess everything worked out.
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