Newlywed Experiences @WeddedNerds

Me: It wasn't a /completely/ unreasonable interpretation of what was said. Partner: . . . Partner: I don't think I agree with that statement. Me: It was a /rather/ unreasonable interpretation, but not /completely/ unreasonable! #marriedlife #goofingoff

Day 744) Phrases to make your SO suspicious: "I hope you appreciate my self control, and you're welcome"

I have discovered that sometimes one's spouse's auditory processing does not at all appreciate when you sing a different sing than the one you're listening to

Me: *picks up speaker, presses play button* *presses power button* *presses power button longer* Me: is this out of power, and you just didn't do anything? Metamour: uhh... that is exactly what happened Me: and you just watched as I tried to turn it on Metamour: wasn't watching

Day 432) New accomplishment: make spouse snort in laughter so hard their throat hurts. Achieved. #HappyLife

Day 396) I have discovered that my spouse sometimes forgets to activate the "produce heat to keep self alive" function. I must administer extra hugs to compensate. I am okay with this.

Day 359) Me: Would you like some applesauce? Wife: Yes, please *begins to reach* Me, moving the jar away: No take, only have! Wife, moments later: *has entire jar* Wife: I /was/ going to only have, but now I take!

Day 351) Me: They called me Lawful Evil Wife: I'm not entirely surprised Me: ...

I have now tried cauliflower. The texture is similar to how I imagine edible rubber would feel. My spouse I'm not wrong.

(Day 275) Discussing purchasing our first joint Yule tree ornament: Me: Can it be a pun? Wife: Uh, absolutely! Me: I /knew/ I married the right person.

My guide to learning how to assemble a PC 1. Assemble one for your spouse 2. Learn from all your mistakes (or as many as you can) 3. Assemble one for yourself 4. Swap PC's when your spouse's back is turned

Day 224) Me: I usually end up being awake through the end of DST and just gain an hour of being awake Wife: I often realize the time and get to bed just before the rollback Us hours later: *asleep at our daily normal time*

"Why is he flexing his dewclaws so much? That's not how you hug." "Nobody told him they're don'tclaws."

Me: If only I had my account number, I could pay the slightly late bill Cat: *settles down onto my lap* Me: Oh! I think I put it in the closet. Cat: *blinks* Me: Eh. What's a few more hours late?

(Day 142) Our (wireless) doorbell is not where it is supposed to be. Me: Did someone take our doorbell? Is this the new version of "ding-dong-ditch"?

(Day 131) Wife: my cheeks hurt from smiling too hard Me, my cheeks also hurting from smiling so hard: you're welcome

"Who the heck tightened the cap on the Worcestershire Sauce /again/?" I ask the kitchen, knowing full well I am the only one who opens or closes this bottle

(Day 111) Wife: You're very affectionate today Me: Yes Wife: Is there a reason for that? Me: Yes Wife: What is it? Me: I don't know #happilymarried