Zach Lang @ZachLang4

The ultimate torture is growing up with the knowledge that it’s possible to control your dreams, but you’re never actually able to do it. I just want to make the remote fly to my hand for once, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!!😭😭

Well I just discovered these are the same plant... after 19 years of joyfully flicking the heads off their stems and kicking them in the grass. ...Figured I should share my bamboozlement😆

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I sure hope no one expects me to wear real pants again after this quarantine...

But like... why does paper beat rock? 🤨

Woah woah woah... hold on a second — stop. Just. Stop. Rewind.... A month ago I was contently introverted, but now I actually want to GO PLACES?!! No n-n-n-n-no... ma’am I’d like to return 2020 please, it’s not workin for me anymore

Okaaaaaay 2020 we get it... you got us! You can say April Fools now, it’s not funny anymore

COVID’s out here thinking he’s slick delaying Wonder Woman by two months to August 14th YOU’RE NOT SNEAKY! You’re like Drax thinking if you move really slowly, no one will notice. WELL NEWS FLASH...

Ok coronavirus. Listen well. I tolerate a lot of what you do... but first you took Mulan from us, and now Black Widow. I SWEAR TO GOD if you try to take Wonder Woman too...

To continue my tweet about Disney princesses being scarily good at making songs, I’ve come to the conclusion that one person is completely justified in their talent And it’s not a princess It’s this guy—the only one with enough power, skill, and time to orchestrate his songs

Just “finished” my homework that was supposed to be due Monday... ...99% sure I heard the Xbox achievement notification when I turned my light off

You ever just not eat breakfast for 6 months and when you finally do, your body is like “We’re sorry, the ‘digestion’ mechanic is not available at this time. Please wait nauseously until past noon to begin this process”

There’s nothing quite like watching random strangers talk about catching the coronavirus and whether Jesus existed in a 24/7 live-streamed instrumental YouTube music video chat

Has your mind ever done that thing where you try to remember something but instead you just forget who you are for a couple seconds? It’s like when a movie player rejects a DVD and you’re like GET👏 BACK👏 IN 👏THERE👏 I NEED YOU

Idk about you, but I find it mildly unsettling the level of musical mastery all Disney princesses have. I mean... there’s not really music. They just come up with it on the fly. Perfectly. Like, forget songwriters... just get a princess and give her an early to mid-life crisis

Jarvis, activate holiday tradition protocol...

MCU - The Direct @MCU_Direct

6 years ago

Jarvis, activate holiday tradition protocol...

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You’ve never been on an adventure until you’ve gone grocery shopping with your dad

When your professor tells you that something is important so you should probably write it down, but you already wrote it down 5,237 times:

If there’s one thing that two months of college has taught me, it is the fine art of power napping