ali @_AlisonLee_

mediocre clarinet player Des Moines, IA Joined September 2012

Tweets

7K
Followers

301
Following

196
Likes

4K

ali @_AlisonLee_

4 years ago

Do you come from a mentally stable family or an open casket family

0 0 1 0 0

ali @_AlisonLee_

4 years ago

I really just had myself convinced in my head that I was 22 for a full minute and then I had to think on it, I hate aging

0 0 1 0 0

ali @_AlisonLee_

4 years ago

Me: “so I started seeing a new guy this week–” my therapist, opening her laptop and pulling up iowa courts online: “Last name?”

0 0 3 0 0

Deb JJ Lee @ Lightbox Expo 112 @jdebbiel

4 years ago

LinkedIn is still wack

240 10K 114K 0 2K

Download Image

Molly Ruben-Long @mollyrubenlong

4 years ago

Turns out being childless and unmarried in your 30s means spending a lot of time high, looking at your home from different angles, while imagining various arrangements of furniture.

248 3K 54K 0 751

petfinder names @petfindernames

4 years ago

38 2K 38K 0 186

Download Image

Jessica Day @jessDay__

4 years ago

My toxic trait is thinking everything is embarrassing, crossing the street?, carrying a lunchbox?, ordering food?, merging?, starting a new job? . No thanks

6 835 5K 0 35

Threatening Music Notation @ThreatNotation

4 years ago

264 24K 170K 0 4K

Download Image

the dentist: youre not using your front two teeth to bite things are you? The caps can’t handle that, they shouldn’t be breaking this often. me: yeah no I wouldn’t do that me 10 minutes earlier: *ripping open a bag of apples with my teeth & then biting into one caps first*

0 0 2 0 0

ali @_AlisonLee_

4 years ago

just found out the Westboro baptist are also huge Fleetwood Mac stans, what a colossal bummer

0 0 1 0 0

Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91

4 years ago

The anxious urge to say "no worries either way" when you are actually worrying both ways plus a secret third way

199 41K 248K 0 3K

ali @_AlisonLee_

4 years ago

so I thought I’d gotten really good at recognizing my batshit anxiety thoughts but it turns out I was only recognizing half of them bc i was labeling the other half as Things I Actually Should Be Panicking About lmaoooo

0 0 0 0 0

Fernando Ruiz @OakCliffDaddy

4 years ago

Gonna start sending this photo to people when they don't reply to my text

234 22K 229K 0 6K

Download Image

ali @_AlisonLee_

4 years ago

top quote from my neighbor today “she thinks I’m tweakin and I said, ‘Bitch I just told you I was blasting papa roach & torching wax in the car I been nuts my whole life so if I’m tweakin I think the doctors woulda figured that out by now, just gimme the fuckin piss test’”