Shit my husband says... @_GoddammitJohn
Because sarcasm is his love language. Joined January 2022-
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"The house demands sacrifice." "It does. And it's rude." - @johntre9
"You're not a real person! You're my wife!" - @johntre9
"That was funny and hurtful." "That's my niche!" - @johntre9
*watching my ravioli slide to the back of the car* "I have made a tactical error. I may not not be very bright..." "Do you, like, have a dimmer switch or something? Like sometimes it's all the way up and then sometimes someone just bumps it with their elbow?" - @johntre9
"If you just take the mean things I say as positive, then I'm very affectionate." - @johntre9
"He didn't evaporate. He didn't start as a liquid and turn into a gas. He started as a solid and turned into.... a less solid..." - @johntre9
"She doesn't brandish sharp weapons at me, just sharp words." - @johntre9
"Bob Seger just hits different in the rain." - @johntre9
"I promise you that this isn't weaponized incompetence." "So it's just your garden variety incompetence." - @johntre9
"Are hurtful things your love language?" "Almost exclusively." - @johntre9
"Baby, they call me BBT. Body by tacos." - @johntre9
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