Sparkle Monster @_KitchenWitch
All my views and all my teeth are my own, not my employer’s. That would be weird. Joined January 2011-
Tweets23K
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Followers681
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Following617
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Likes69K
We bought a house together 💖
She’s getting old but is still super cute.
Haircut day for this 11yo love of my life.
Sparkle Monster retweeted
pretty offended that some random british person is claiming to speak for all the women in aotearoa when that’s richie hardcores job
What are they filming in island bay?
I’ve just found out my favourite part of backgammon (my favourite game) was a house rule and now I hate backgammon 😂
Been going on dates recently with a guy from Cornwall who the other day shouted “what a beauty!” when he saw me. Good times.
Sparkle Monster retweeted
i think about this maybe 8 times a day
Dudes on tinder having no idea how high drama their “no drama” bios are
Tinder update: lots of Te Araroa hikers, predominantly Canadian, nearing Wellington in the next few days. 🌦️
He’s making a list He’s checking it twice While he’s having a smoke And she’s taking a drag
Sparkle Monster retweeted
You can tell a lot about a person by violating HIPAA
Sparkle Monster retweeted
it is demoralizing to know that you are a website's product but really energizing to know that you can be a really terrible product
Tfw you’re gently roasted by a dictionary.
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