Ian Foster @_RedHeadStepKid
I cannot be held accountable in a court of law for anything I post on here. By following me, you undoubtedly agree to these conditions I’ve put in place. Thanks Joined May 2019-
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“Is it just me or does this pigeon look like Will Smith” -Blake Seidel-Pinson
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When I get a job I’m going to set aside money to pay for a steady supply of milk. I will drink milk with EVERY meal until I die and my skeleton will be so strong it will rise from the earth to begin my ultimate conquest.
Heaven is just a randomly generated Minecraft seed
If the pigeon is large enough I am legally going to mount it
What sound does a plane make when it hits a trampoline? BOEING!!
(On a school trip to Dallas) Blake: This is my mood for this whole trip. (Intro to Take Me Away plays) 🎶I don’t wanna be here🎶
Chase: truth or dare? Me: truth Chase: would you kiss Blake? Me: yes Chase: ok. Truth or dare? Me: dare Chase: … Blake: (laughs too hard to speak)
(After sneaking up behind my mom) Me: (in a deep voice) “I supply the nutrients to the demons of the field.” My mom: (entirely unfazed) “Did you just pee in the backyard?” Me: (same voice) “Indeed”
Ian Foster retweeted
Tom Holland and the cast of Spider-Man: Far From Home surprised guests at Disneyland! This is the moment it all unfolded. Enjoy! #disneyland #disney #tomholland #zendaya #spiderman #spidermanfarfromhome #JakeGyllenhaal #disneylover @TomHolland1996 @Zendaya
I threw a boomerang 6 years ago and it never came back. I live in constant fear
I only eat real chicken. What the frick is a McChicken, dude?
Taking NyQuil on the subway is the real life version of fast travel
If movies have taught me anything it’s that, since we are under tornado watch, I can run outside in a cow costume and fly around without harm
“If you’re ever angry, dig a hole. That way when you’re angry again and can’t control yourself, you have somewhere to hide the body”
Adam: “…she broke the glass ceiling of politics…” Me: “I broke a glass table once”
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