Em @_discreet_af

fun size on fleek with it #girlboss Joined June 2014

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Guilherme Nunes @guilhernunes_

5 months ago

photographer capybara

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Em @_discreet_af

5 months ago

when u think he’s out fuckin bitches but he’s actually out getting post-work margaritas and booling with the boys ✨

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Em @_discreet_af

12 months ago

my anxiety tells me the craziest shit such as that if I comment ⏳ on someone’s post to say “slay that body is snatched like an hourglass” they’ll think I’m ominously saying “your time is almost up”

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Em @_discreet_af

a year ago

when u don’t understand what the paint man at the paint store is talking about so he explains it in terms of purses so I would understand 👛🎀☺️

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Em @_discreet_af

a year ago

men: I’m not sending mixed signals also men:

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my freakin ex kicked me off his Hulu right as the Mormon swingers docuseries is coming out, literally so rude omfg couldn’t he have realized I was on there a week later? this is worse than the breakup, I’m gonna rage 😤

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Em @_discreet_af

a year ago

Is it too late to be aborted? Asking for a friend 😝

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Em @_discreet_af

a year ago

headbanging to Harry Styles sitting in rva rush hour traffic hits different

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Em @_discreet_af

a year ago

the man who made me touch his third nipple is engaged and I’ll forever be single….. logging off so nothing else can humble me like dis again gbye

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Em @_discreet_af

a year ago

“yo when I was skinny, I was farting THROUGH couches but now that my cheeks are bigger I can’t fart sitting down”

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Em @_discreet_af

a year ago

just found out that Kansas City is not, in fact, in Kansas. Don’t txt I need time to process this

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Em @_discreet_af

2 years ago

(surprisingly no one was severely injured from this so it’s not depressing to watch) BUT DAMN THIS SHIT CRAZY

Crazy Clips @crazyclipsonly

2 years ago

(surprisingly no one was severely injured from this so it’s not depressing to watch) BUT DAMN THIS SHIT CRAZY

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Em @_discreet_af

2 years ago

does anyone else get so depresso when your bf leaves after spending the night or are you guys mentally stable

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helena riley @freshhel

2 years ago

I wonder if kylies italian greyhounds look at Timothy and assume he’s their biological father

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one of ur hoes @miliondollameat

2 years ago

i think the government should fund week long benders with ur bestie

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warm human @w000rm

2 years ago

spring: depressed in a hopeful way summer: depressed in a manic way fall: depressed in a nostalgic way winter: depressed in a depressed way

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Kat Tenbarge is on Bluesky @kattenbarge

2 years ago

A key difference in how the "male loneliness epidemic" versus the rape and domestic violence crisis is discussed: male loneliness is assumed to be a shared responsibility, a collective impediment, while the relentless and increasing sexual violence against women and girls isn't

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Losing it @prophethusband

2 years ago

Me: (Mumbling as boss approaches my desk) i’ll kill myself in front of you if you ask me to do a single thing I swear to god Boss: Hey can you email me that thing Me: Oh for sure playa. No doubt