Elijah @_e_c_g
Just when you thought I couldn't get worse, I'm a consultant now. Berlin Joined March 2010-
Tweets15K
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Followers1K
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Following412
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Likes37K
Nearly went out choking on a peanut. It really is the Bush years again
I never get tired of the fact that Martha’s tweets lately all seem to be written for someone with a sprawling estate that they don’t know what to do with
I never get tired of the fact that Martha’s tweets lately all seem to be written for someone with a sprawling estate that they don’t know what to do with
Eurovision literally a trisha paytas lookalike contest this year
Love Martha’s money-saving tips for running my orchard
Love Martha’s money-saving tips for running my orchard
This gives me a great idea for a scam targeting seniors
This gives me a great idea for a scam targeting seniors
If anyone was wondering, my hands basically look like Timmée’s (long elegant fingers, fucked up cuticles)
If anyone was wondering, my hands basically look like Timmée’s (long elegant fingers, fucked up cuticles)
All fun and games to dunk on her for not knowing what aristocracy is until someone asks you to define “builder grade” and “kitchenette”
All fun and games to dunk on her for not knowing what aristocracy is until someone asks you to define “builder grade” and “kitchenette”
I’m even skinnier than him and that’s why I didn’t get cast as Wonka
I’m even skinnier than him and that’s why I didn’t get cast as Wonka
She and Adam Neumann would match each others’ freak so exquisitely
She and Adam Neumann would match each others’ freak so exquisitely
Being a 90s gay stereotype is honestly so much more fun than being a 2020s gay stereotype. Like YES I am fighting with my boyfriend because he does not want to discuss whether we need a meat grinder attachment for our KitchenAid because he is at work as a HAIR AND MAKEUP ARTIST
Menopausal women:
This is exactly why I believe that ALL higher education should take place in the Boston metropolitan area
Not to Leave-post, but did let out a genuine gasp of delight when I unscrewed a bottle cap in the UK and it actually came all the way off
If not for being vice president, Kamala would be an all-timer Serious Eats contributor
The only good part of twitter any more is how once a month there’s a day when the algorithm figures out all I want to see is pictures of cate blanchett looking beautiful
It’s honestly crazy to me that Melissa Clark’s babka recipe hasn’t spawned an entire generation of cafes that just exist to sell it by the slice
The most immutable law of Berlin is that if you leave the house you WILL see a white person with dreads
I love when hot people have birthdays like yessss repost two dozen stories featuring never before seen pictures of you
Not Joerge W. Biden
Not Joerge W. Biden
Pete said Madam Vice President I WILL deliver you the platinum medallion vote
Pete said Madam Vice President I WILL deliver you the platinum medallion vote
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