Funniest Parents @_funny_parents
The funniest parents on Twitter. Because it's better to laugh than cry. Joined February 2016-
Tweets16K
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Followers7K
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Following5K
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A starter CrossFit class going on in the gym and for those students not prepared they are handing out beards and full-sleeve tattoos at the door.
Kind of disappointed that I quit my job today and didn't immediately get escorted out by security.
[movie pitch] ME: a super hero movie with chickens called Thor: RagnaBAWK PRODUCER: no ME: ok, all cats PRODUCER: please leave ME: in a war movie PRODUCER: now ME: *getting ushered out the door* Apocalypse MEOW
I know I'm past the expiration date for those "30 under 30" lists. Is there a "old fuck hoping for a second chance" list someone can put me on? Thanks.
Sometimes I think everyone is better than me or smarter than me... ...then I remember that we all used to poop ourselves.
I'd be more inclined to follow my heart if it spent more time on tropical beaches.
Twitter is like being stuck in neutral... forever
When Winter Arrives... Normal People: Wow it’s really cold out, I’m wearing a jacket, hat, and warm shoes today! My 7-year-old son:
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Our youngest daughter doesn't always remember our Prime Minister's name but she can name over 20 doughnut flavours & we couldn't be more proud.
"I'm not addicted to Twitter." "Me neither." - A Tale of Two Liars
My son's favorite thing about homework is the part where he does it on the way to school & thinks I know all the answers.
[text] Boss: It's 9:30. Are you planning on coming in today? Me: What? Do we not have National Pickle Day off?!
If you didn't start defrosting your Thanksgiving turkey in early October it's already too late.
I think the most frustrated zombies would be the ones who didn't have their dentures in when they turned.
Boss: You look pretty busy, I'll come back later. Me: *writing resignation letter* Yeah I'm pretty swamped.
Dad hack: school lunchbox note.
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It's the honest truth that we're trying to raise both our girls in a world where all their dresses have pockets.
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Cornelius G. Reginald @RealCornieG
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Everyday Me @ADHDmumlife
9 Followers 71 Following Just me, navigating life as a 40-year-old mum to a teenage 5-year-old. Happily unmarried to a stressed-out man and owner of a velociraptor puppy.
Shaina Sawyer @ShainaNotShanna
51 Followers 130 Following Mom of 4 womb gremlins,small business owner @RSBakeryIthaca, lover of coffee and a good book. I’m an witty introvert, so if you see me in public….it’s not me 🤣
Yvette @Yvette12045872
0 Followers 29 Following
Alli @floridawoman76
20 Followers 227 Following
Ronald Damarr Jr. �... @ronalddamarrjr
61 Followers 220 Following Anti Liberal, Anti Vaxx, Anti Trans, Pro Life, Pro Christian. 100% catholic Kansas State fan. I stand with Israel! Chromosomes are XY
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Marie Johnson @MarieMaillet40
25 Followers 134 Following
Karen Levins @levins_karen
5 Followers 115 Following
Mia🌺🤙🐬🐆�... @piilani_13
794 Followers 2K Following Coast Guard Vet (ret). Dangerously & insanely obsessed w/Miami Dolphins🐬. Will never be a vegan/vegetarian😜 Live pono🤙 #alohaspirit #mia13 #GoFins #jeeplife✌
MzBaku @MamaSquintz
70 Followers 796 Following Boymom extraordinaire, feral housekeeper, nature-lover, sky-gazer, and brain tumor warrior. Ancora Imparo.
LuvelyBubblyMe @LuvelyBubblyMe
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MomMomMom @MomMomMom4Mom
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Glenda Johnson @allswellwithdrj
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Shelly Downey @ShellyDowney17
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prabhat kumar @prabhatkumar974
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Dawn Russell @DawnRus95562084
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Kay Lester @KayLester1
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Rafia Mughal @RafiaMughal0388
11 Followers 239 Following
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Melitz @thisisfourtyish
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KtJ. @grocerymom88
68 Followers 91 Following Working mom/wife who is learning to go with the flow 🌳💨
Matt @Matt10712395
18 Followers 568 Following
annmariehelgesen @annmariehelges1
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AM @AMFreedom12
408 Followers 596 Following I am a hard-working American who believes in the constitution!
Mommy2Bruh @Mommy2Bruh
0 Followers 19 Following
Erica Williams @erica_c_fuller
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American Patriot @rhurst61
390 Followers 1K Following Blue Collar Conservative ,Christian,Hobbies:Hunting,Fishing & Camping
MomMulhall @MomMulhall
0 Followers 64 Following
Tired Mummy @MummioLife
38 Followers 91 Following Motherhood it takes patience, humour and a lot of wine 🍷
Rafiamughal1988@gmail... @rafiamughal1988
6 Followers 186 Following
Amanda Smith @Acraw231Smith
17 Followers 255 Following
Michele Anthony @Michele99550798
20 Followers 811 Following
Nat Terrazas @TerrazasNat
833 Followers 2K Following Im a conductor for Union Pacific, love my kids, #CowboysNation #CowboyFam #GoSpursGo
OKKay @RosieK4383
0 Followers 32 Following
heather cano-brown @motomom76
389 Followers 3K Following Just Heather will do! thanks food,family and 💚💐
Nick Fosness @notquicknick
93 Followers 281 Following District 1 South Dakota House of Representatives
Scott @Scott82557241
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Johanna Teresa Rillo @JaynJoyce07
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C-Bomb $ (pronounced ... @SupersizeMeLSD
1K Followers 1K Following walking stress ulcer. nickelback fan. Big crits, big health bar - Find a way My tweets are not directed at the reader. They are more of a cosmic....
American Patriot @rhurst61
390 Followers 1K Following Blue Collar Conservative ,Christian,Hobbies:Hunting,Fishing & Camping
Karen Naana @karrinclinton
84 Followers 600 Following
Shelly Smith @shellyswerv
148 Followers 617 Following I'm a high energy person who must keep busy! I’ve never met a stranger and have many friends near and far.
Slate @slatesslate
95 Followers 399 Following
billy shaw @billyshaw70
5K Followers 6K Following like having a laugh,happily married :-) I always follow back, so if you unfollow I'll do likewise?
stephwith3es @TheBookMamma
696 Followers 663 Following
Tiffany @tifftiffvlogs
2K Followers 2K Following I’m jealous of my parents, I’ll never be able to have a kid as cool as theirs 🤩 #followback squad
Marissa Gray @marissasway
450 Followers 2K Following Mom, wife, HBOC advocate, Nerium Brand Partner, Account Executive SoundGuard
bleachblondeduhhh @bleachblondeduh
105 Followers 434 Following
Shikha Sharma 🇮�... @sharma_shikha_
740 Followers 5K Following After a point, continuously asking rhetorical questions seems enough to sustain idiocy
Terri @tbliec
373 Followers 1K Following
diana k @KamwibuaDiana
905 Followers 2K Following Kenyan. PhD student. Governance and Board research. DEI Leadership development strategies.
Lorissa Devingham @lorissabee123
100 Followers 561 Following Summer, Ed Sheeran, Bikinis, Music, Instagram
Colin B M Wood @ColinBMWood
735 Followers 3K Following Professional Blogger/Writer/Entertainer Founder of "The World At A View" Magazine and The Munro School Of Performance
jargex @jargex
150 Followers 789 Following This is my plan theres no real plan no paper trail slowing tumbeling behind just live everyday like we'd plan effort over ability just have a go ,GET SOME !!
GRRRRateful. @mz_tek
461 Followers 2K Following Passive-Aggressive Tweeter. (I mostly stalk & retweet.) If you inspire me, infuriate me or cause a chuckle, I will likely follow you.
mato kanta @gatanan
233 Followers 2K Following Bonjour mademoiselle Monsieur ajoute moi sur snapchat ibrahim.omar35
Careless Beauty @Brittanysback1
566 Followers 1K Following my pics are scattered thru out I post them often snapchat info available upon request but I do charge I do fansigns soon to be streamer follow me
Lucy Valentine 1981 @LValentine31
327 Followers 2K Following Opinionated Southerner. Instagram; Valentine30 ~ My opinions are my own and in no way related to my place of work. #MUFC
Sarah Marie Doyle �... @Sarahmarieox
105 Followers 632 Following
MssRinRin @MssRinRin
348 Followers 869 Following the more smiles you give the more you will get back #smile
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ROSALINDA ALEKSIC @ROSALINDAA732
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Amanda Nichols @nerdmAJor
170 Followers 488 Following I love to laugh at everything especially myself. Cancer survivor and scape goat extraordinaire
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Shifty51/50 @Shifty51fifty
910 Followers 1K Following Fuck the bullshit, I'm tryin to get that 💰fool. #everydaygrind
fitlife @charles_grigsby
388 Followers 1K FollowingTrends for United States
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