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Tweets12K
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Followers488
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Following264
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Likes2K
my oldest just looked at me and said “when you die I’m taking all of your stuff - ALL of it” and my middle child joined in and said “yeah, none of it will be wasted” ok thanks for that I think
I’ve been kid free since 4pm and have deep cleaned my whole garage, took a load of things to the storage unit, cleaned up inside, and blew up a 10ft pool with my bare lungs tonight so the kids have something to enjoy tomorrow during the day. I’m tired now
i’m having an infidelity clause in my marriage. whoever cheat has to pay a huge sum of money and has to have custody over the kids
Whoever drives the black challenger with a supercharger that just rolled down HWY27, your car sounds good
The older my daughter gets, the more I catch myself purchasing two of whatever I’m buying for myself so that she can have one too because I already know she’s going to be asking for a duplicate when she sees whatever it is that I have 🤣🤣 lil girl has good taste and I can’t hate
compliments from random strangers mean so much. you did not have to go out of your way to say that and you still chose to a genuine thank you to all people like that
GOD IS SO GOOD Putting a little reminder out there in case I or anyone else forgets it for a second
I will marry a lover boy with provider mindset. Life is too short to spend it with a guy who is mean & inconsiderate.
Girls are on tik tok talking about losing their spark after having a baby and here the girlies go saying “if you were married, you wouldn’t experience depression.” and I wanna know who has told y’all that marriage is the answer to every single struggle a mom can go through?
I’m sorry I am a traditional woman when it comes to certain things. . . I firmly believe that a man is supposed to chase the woman, court her, spoil her, love her more. . Anything outside of that is weird
I actually prefer being around people who know how to code switch. There’s a time and a place for everything.
I know I’ve set these kids up right for life. I asked what they wanted me to throw on the blackstone tonight for dinner and Paislee with no hesitation said “steak, grilled shrimp, and macanonies” so I guess lil boujee girl is getting what she wants bc it sounds good lmao
I’m never going to be able to check my mail again, I’m so embarrassed

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