A Client From Hell @aclientfromhell
Bored middle-management with one foot in a bubbling spa and the other in Hades. urbandictionary.com/define.php?ter… Every office, everywhere, ever Joined June 2010-
Tweets41
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Followers12
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Following31
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Likes1
I overheard the tech nerds talking about potions to increase agility. Is this a Dark Web thing?
The board have heard the word Agile and now we all have to be Agile. I want to see a 25% increase in agility.
This means he gets to pretend that I'm being a bad guy and randomly holding onto them. Only he's not pretending. Sometimes I burn them.
I've had a promotion since we last spoke. I now manage the guy who doesn't pay your invoices.
I see you haven't managed to buck your ideas up while I've been on holiday.
I'm now back from the Executive Solutions Strategy Summit on board the Oriana. My favourite part was the feeling of prostitution in the air.
Have demanded the nerds in IT get me a webcam for videoconferencing. And by Videoconferencing I mean Chatroulette.
No #followfriday mention, your invoice falls down the back off my desk. That's how it works around here.
Scope creep? Scope creep my arse. You should have understood my needs in the first place.
Big meeting with exec from Integrated Solutions Consultant today. She sounds hot. I'd like to INTEGRATE with her!
@mezhopking can you select GREEN, no not that green THE OTHER ONE. Yes. Now, move your cursor halfway across the screen to the blue button..
Talking about my vertical makes me horny.
I should drop you, you're just a pissy deign house AND you're not INTEGRATED. You never ask me questions about my vertical
Just had an email from an Integrated Solutions Consultancy. They sounded very impressive and asked me lots of questions about my vertical.
I've filled out your "Stakeholder Interview" form. I asked everyone in the canteen to list everything they hate about the mockup you made.
It's not about a relationship, it's not about client and vendor working together, it's about POWER. I have it, you don't.
No I can't type it for you, I've got meetings to go to!
FINE. I'll get some nerd in IT to scan each page of our catalogue and send it to you. You can use that for your precious "content".
Next months PO's will have Sodoku puzzles so bone up on your maths.
J Wordbuzz @Wordbuz
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Clients From Hell @verybadclients
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Designer From Hell @designer_hell
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Martin Booth @beardedjourno
73K Followers 17K Following Mersina & Lois' dad. Jo's husband. Writer, tour guide and @Bristol247 Editor. Bristol Bears, Gas Girls & Watford fan. Usually on a bicycle.
Mark Crawley @crawlem
223 Followers 619 Following Specsavers Enterprise Architect, ex-IBMer, web geek and dad. All views are my own.
Doug Somerville @dougsom
780 Followers 3K Following Freelance designer. Currently - user researcher @cabinetofficeuk. Into: UX, IA, interaction & graphic design, journalism, mtb, football. Views are my own etc.
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iNet Solutions Group @inetsgi
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Luke Barrow @elbea75
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Designer From Hell @designer_hell
237 Followers 1K Following Designer From Hell. Share horror stories of the 'designer from hell'. See examples of awful web and graphic design. http://t.co/gOZuKNSQj6
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Kevin M. Hoffman @kevinmhoffman
8K Followers 2K Following Design director at @DeptVetAffairs Office of CTO. Author https://t.co/ryZlTnwP5f. Speaker/Facilitator/Dad/He/Him. Opinions my own.
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601 Followers 75 Following Profane, sarcastic, and sometimes-hilarious dad, husband to @kelly_astle (who unlike me still uses Twitter), and @LeamGeeks founder-emeritus. Find me elsewhere.
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896 Followers 434 Following Developer @clearleft. Husband of @sarahjacob. Runs a lot. (Running related nonesense @ultraperk).
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