š¤¬ @aggregateapple
Iām pissed off funny and warm Nowhere Joined July 2014-
Tweets3K
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Followers289
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Following741
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Likes113K
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guy whoās listened to 10 taylor swift songs: youāve gotta listen to style guy whoās listened to 100 taylor swift songs: youāve gotta listen to her unreleased song ādark blue tennesseeā guy whoās listened to 1000 taylor swift songs: youāve gotta listen to style
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āI am afraid I will love you forever and we will never be in the same room again.ā ā Clementine von Radics
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wife: please donāt say anything weird to my coworkers at the office party me: why would i do that [later at her office party to her boss] me: i be drinking so much milk
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My landlord said I can't have a cat, so I bought a box of five hundred live house centipedes instead. Turns out he's not happy about that, either. Well tough. This is called compromise. We're compromising now. All five hundred and two of us.
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I love saying vague shit that only I understand
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everything got twice as expensive over a period of two years and I went from living comfortably to living paycheck to paycheck while working more than ever. I didnāt even do anything!!! It sends me into genuine despair!!!
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I donāt cook or clean and my phone screen is cracked and Iām unemployed. Chew on that before you dm me
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3rd century tweets
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3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks & apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information
I love looking at Peterās location. Like ooh is he in Lynn today? Nah! He on Commonwealth Avenue!
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Need South Carolina to cover
I hate that I donāt like Sabrina Carpenterās music bc she is so cuntyā¦ so realā¦ the melodies just donāt do it for me baby Iām sorry
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āI love liftingā yea i love lifting that 32oz beer to my mouth buddy ur not special
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i already know who the loml is we just not cool rn
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"Years do odd things to identity."
Ooh Iām Travis Kelce. Iām 6ā5 with an eight foot wingspan. Iām a charming himbo. I just got engaged to Taylor Swift. Fuck you man
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the woman who wrote the score to every young womanās love life for the past 18 years. btw
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iām sorry is this that scene from no country for old men
iām sorry is this that scene from no country for old men
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swifties in the workplace
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