Alexsandra @alex_theacorn
💍| Dog Mom | MILF to be Michigan, USA Joined May 2011-
Tweets15K
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Followers302
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Following182
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Likes5K
The audacity of my baby to come out looking EXACTLY like her father
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At this point in pregnancy I am in a constant state of having to pee and my heartburn is so bad I could throw up at any second.
I cannot believe that I’m already 30 weeks pregnant 🤯
Pregnancy is cute until your back hurts and you have heartburn 24/7
Just watched a girl do whippets in Target. So happy Sunday.
A grown man told my boss that he feels personally victimized and attacked by me after I told him he cannot order a drink for someone who isn’t here.
The wires that go to our house stopped working so I’ve only had power in half of my house all day. Patiently waiting since 3pm for DTE to come. 11pm and my prayers have been answered 🙏🏼
Nail techs really deserve to be tipped because some of ya’ll have nasty ass feet
Every time I guest bartend, I realize why I never worked at a night club.
I have so many mosquito bites. I look like I have chicken pox.
My biggest flex is being married to my literal best friend 💕
Starting on the second half of my sleeve today, sorry mom!
Alexsandra retweeted
Our Father who art in heaven, Baja be thy Blast
My dogs started doing this fun new thing where they kill birds and bring them INSIDE
When the nurse puts a bandaid over the freckle on my arm instead of the place she gave me a shot. I mean good try, but now I have blood on my shirt.
Toilet paper math has me confused every time I grocery shop
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