amanda @amandaschoose
Joined February 2011-
Tweets17K
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Followers621
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Following261
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Likes84K
Jack the other day “I legally identify as being 5’11’’.”
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Somebody had to get married with 75% of their big toenail missing and I stepped up
Peak big back behavior is me walking in to bdubs and the manager calling me over immediately and saying I know you don’t even need to look at the menu baby what you want
Every time I’m at the post office I feel like I’m in some kind of hostage situation
I have since learned :/
Ran outside while Jack was working to start shoveling so my neighbors think I have a deadbeat husband
What happened to me nutritionally and financially this week can never happen again.
Everyone remember: you’ll feel better today if you spend hours staring at your phone and don’t drink water ❤️
Not now
One thing about white people is they WILL be incorporating their dogs in their wedding somehow
God when the snake told him Eve ate the apple
Showed up to my friends engagement party in this. Not sure what the problem is ?
Why is Hoka allergic to serving like a bitch has plantar fasciitis…
Every single time Joey comes over he asks for my address (I’ve lived here for almost 3 years now)
I realized I did in fact have an original experience when I just went to turn on my dishwasher and subconsciously looked over at my Alexa to make sure there wasn’t another lizard on top of it
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Al @brewcrewz
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richard hawk @goosehawkgoose5
353 Followers 573 Following dick hawk. piss drunk. bench 280 & squat 420. moon landing might’ve been fake. D1 gooner. who dey.
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