mayor @bitememonkeys

this shit is bananas Portland, OR Joined March 2013

Tweets

744
Followers

219
Following

221
Likes

1K

TINASHE @Tinashe

5 years ago

@sylvsaid im literally in it and I kinda agree

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jxn🦧 @seinfeldpiss

5 years ago

bold of you to assume i'm not mentally still at the cullen house

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Lydia Hill🍃 @lydiakahill

6 years ago

me and me dad are sharing the dining room table working from home today. He's an aerospace engineer on a conference call ordering fuselage prototypes and I'm drawing a duck

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mayor @bitememonkeys

6 years ago

child: give me cheezits. me: can you ask nicely? child: yeah who’s Nicely?

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mayor @bitememonkeys

6 years ago

if abortion is illegal then pregnant women should be able to drive in the carpool lane

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mayor @bitememonkeys

7 years ago

lets settle this real quick...

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mayor @bitememonkeys

7 years ago

ahh nicotine. sweet, sweet, terrible nicotine. how I loathe you so

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mayor @bitememonkeys

7 years ago

diary of a sprained ankle: heely's! are! not! rave! apparel!

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mayor @bitememonkeys

7 years ago

my little sister just called me "princess alyssa poopypants" and that is what I shall henceforth be called

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mayor @bitememonkeys

7 years ago

a wise woman once said "bitches aint shit and they aint say nothin"

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Zilla @GoodZiIIa

7 years ago

[after surgery] doctor: you'll never walk again me: oh god doctor: the heely implants were a success

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mayor @bitememonkeys

7 years ago

I needa get my row in a ducks

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mayor @bitememonkeys

7 years ago

hmu for that og broccoli kush, 5.99/lb

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mayor @bitememonkeys

7 years ago

[when u just recieve $1000] me now: maybe I'll get a massive ball pit in my room or a hot tub me in 20 years: well it's about time I've upgraded my washing machine!